I suck as a blogger lately.
I know. I own it. I've been too busy. I realized yesterday that I've only blogged like 4 times since New Years.
Sorry.
Its not that I am completely uninspired, rather that I am drained of all energy. Largely, it has gone in to work, due to my commute and scope of responsibility.
Also, I've started writing my book and have been trying this week to set aside time to go back and retell my story. It's very frustrating to write for 5 hours nonstop, and realize it amounted to 10 pages. It's going to be a battle for me to stick with it and commit to completing it. I lack discipline when it comes to writing an entire book. I'm at about 17k words, and by what I've researched, I need around 80k.
Okay, well that puts me at page 55, and where the hell is the other 200 pages going to come from???
This is why I never thought I would write a book. I like immediate gratification, and feel like I have enough in me to fill 8 books, but it's difficult to get it out in an outline, and then try to go back 15 years and fill in the story with greater detail.
But, I think I am on to something, so I need to let that motivation carry me.
I did enjoy watching "Vanderpump Rules" this week. I DVR'd the episodes and watched them, and it's so ridiculous to watch these idiots and over-inflated egos, as they work in a restaurant. You would think they are celebrities! It's like, "uh, you're a waitress, so get over yourself."
Most of my television watching is DVR'd so that I can catch up with things, because by the time I get home from work, I take my sleepy time pills and am out within an hour.
This week I also had an epic fail with the diet. I had three days of eating crap. So that's not exactly good either, and even though as of yesterday, I am back on the NutraSystem, I have yet to weigh myself since my collapse in to carb heaven.
I hate failing. Not that anyone likes it. But I think I expect too much from myself, and then am very hard on myself as a result. No one makes me feel worse about me than me. I've always said I am my own worst enemy.
Some things, I can let go and accept that it is what it is. But many other things, I completely over-analyze.
My mom asked me why I swear so much in my blog. As a person with a better than average vocabulary, I should find more profound words? I don't know. Sometimes there is no other word better than a good fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I could make it sound pretty, but if it requires a fuck, than its not best explained in a delicate manner. Words are words.
I went to a social media conference a week ago. You would not believe how many companies include a Social Media background check on you for jobs! How awful and intrusive. I think that should be illegal. If you are a performer on the job, are a solid employee and professional at work, than why on Earth do they have a right to dig in to your personal life?
I knew when I started blogging that this was a potential pitfall, but I also have come to the point in my life that if they are the type of company that really nitpicks this much, they are probably assholes to work for. I want them to want to hire me based on my career experience and abilities, not if I post a picture of myself at a party, holding up a glass of wine. For God's sake, even if I was hanging off a stripper pole, that has nothing to do with who I am at work! Doesn't mean I am an alcoholic. It means I have a life outside work, and the two don't interconnect. I doubt my clients are going to be googling me to find out who I am. That's what LinkedIn is for.
Violation of identity. It sends out the message, "we don't want you to have a personality, or influence." So if you want to work for that kind of company, it should send a message to you, the candidate, that they really don't give a crap about you.
For a person like me, I like to have a personality. I am in the business of "people". Which means you have a honed ability to intuitively and adaptably conform to situations and people. Or you should, anyway.
You want me, or you don't. At least when people show their weaknesses, you know what you are dealing with and can determine how to attack it. You have no idea about them when you know nothing about their personal life. I think that's a much riskier issue.
Either way, I think it's bullshit. And that's about that.
Showing posts with label dieting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dieting. Show all posts
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
My own little Cinnabon Hell
"Why," I ask myself, "does my house smell like a Cinnabon, that sell pork?"
Answer:
Because Andy decided to make Spam with brown sugar glaze with eggs for dinner, and then put a wax tart that smells like cinnamon rolls in the tart warmer.
Why does that make me want to go on a murderous rampage?
Because I started my "Official" diet, aka Fast for a Month-plan today.
What is allowed on my diet for the first 3 days, you ask? Water, Iced tea with Sweet and Low, and Coffee with fat free creamer.
A food fast.
That's right. I am hardcore and have to shrink the stomach to reduce cravings, while flushing everything out of my body, and re-set my metabolic clock.
That is the kind of Cage-Fighter willpower I have. Once I get on a roll, and commit...I am a dieting ninja.
The challenge in sticking to my diet is going to be my alcohol consumption this weekend, as my inlaws are coming. And Canadian drink. ALOT. That is one of the "Pros" of my husband's family. They drink like fish. My family..it is a "Con". They need to drink MORE. And we're going to Napa, which is like the gates of heaven were flung wide open and Angels fly about refilling your glass.
My husband has been occupying himself with posting listings on CL to barter items we don't need or use. He thinks that due to the show Barter Kings, he can trade a bunch of tools and crap for a boat or hot tub or RV to work on for something to keep himself busy. Instead, we've gotten an XBox, a Generator and a bicycle.
The XBox was promptly taken to GameStop to cash in. The Generator, I am not sure he should trade, as it is the year that the world will end, or at the very least, a solar flare will knock out the grid, causing mass chaos and hysteria because of all the technology we depend on. And that, my friends, is God/Goddesses' lesson to all of us that we worship technology.
The bicycle, I look at daily.
Should I mount it?
Can I even ride a bike anymore? When is the last time I was actually ON one? Will my giant ass envelope the seat?
I keep telling myself that I WILL ride one day. I will use that for my requisite exercise that everyone tries to tell me that I need to do to lose weight. (Which is BULLSHIT)
It's bullshit because I've lost weight a million times NOT EXERCISING. And then everyone wants to say, "Well, it's not healthy to lose weight by starving yourself."
And I say, "Well, it's healthier than being fat."
And people say when I gripe about gaining back all the depression weight loss I had, that I didn't lose that in a healthy way. Like it's supposed to matter. The only GOOD thing that came out of my life-altering, come to Jesus, knock me down backwards depression WAS the weight loss. Because if nothing else, I looked hot as balls.
But instead, the Dr put me on hardcore meds to knock me out because I hadn't slept in a year, and I gladly followed the Pied Piper with his sleep drugs, not realizing they made me crave sweet stuff at midnight, which I was happy to oblige.
Sleep or Skinny?
Happy or Skinny? (Happiness includes food binges, say...on fondue and bread.)
It all sucks, and now I have to pay the price.
Goddammit.
Answer:
Because Andy decided to make Spam with brown sugar glaze with eggs for dinner, and then put a wax tart that smells like cinnamon rolls in the tart warmer.
Why does that make me want to go on a murderous rampage?
Because I started my "Official" diet, aka Fast for a Month-plan today.
What is allowed on my diet for the first 3 days, you ask? Water, Iced tea with Sweet and Low, and Coffee with fat free creamer.
A food fast.
That's right. I am hardcore and have to shrink the stomach to reduce cravings, while flushing everything out of my body, and re-set my metabolic clock.
That is the kind of Cage-Fighter willpower I have. Once I get on a roll, and commit...I am a dieting ninja.
The challenge in sticking to my diet is going to be my alcohol consumption this weekend, as my inlaws are coming. And Canadian drink. ALOT. That is one of the "Pros" of my husband's family. They drink like fish. My family..it is a "Con". They need to drink MORE. And we're going to Napa, which is like the gates of heaven were flung wide open and Angels fly about refilling your glass.
My husband has been occupying himself with posting listings on CL to barter items we don't need or use. He thinks that due to the show Barter Kings, he can trade a bunch of tools and crap for a boat or hot tub or RV to work on for something to keep himself busy. Instead, we've gotten an XBox, a Generator and a bicycle.
The XBox was promptly taken to GameStop to cash in. The Generator, I am not sure he should trade, as it is the year that the world will end, or at the very least, a solar flare will knock out the grid, causing mass chaos and hysteria because of all the technology we depend on. And that, my friends, is God/Goddesses' lesson to all of us that we worship technology.
The bicycle, I look at daily.
Should I mount it?
Can I even ride a bike anymore? When is the last time I was actually ON one? Will my giant ass envelope the seat?
I keep telling myself that I WILL ride one day. I will use that for my requisite exercise that everyone tries to tell me that I need to do to lose weight. (Which is BULLSHIT)
It's bullshit because I've lost weight a million times NOT EXERCISING. And then everyone wants to say, "Well, it's not healthy to lose weight by starving yourself."
And I say, "Well, it's healthier than being fat."
And people say when I gripe about gaining back all the depression weight loss I had, that I didn't lose that in a healthy way. Like it's supposed to matter. The only GOOD thing that came out of my life-altering, come to Jesus, knock me down backwards depression WAS the weight loss. Because if nothing else, I looked hot as balls.
But instead, the Dr put me on hardcore meds to knock me out because I hadn't slept in a year, and I gladly followed the Pied Piper with his sleep drugs, not realizing they made me crave sweet stuff at midnight, which I was happy to oblige.
Sleep or Skinny?
Happy or Skinny? (Happiness includes food binges, say...on fondue and bread.)
It all sucks, and now I have to pay the price.
Goddammit.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Calling in fat today...
I am really glad I work from home.
Somewhere between March and June, I gained like 50 lbs. Which really sucks because I had lost that much and bought a bunch of skinny clothes that are now mocking me from my closet down the hall.
I hear them. It grates on my self-image. I feel disgusting for the first time since my tummy tuck a few years ago.
I can't win some days. I try to quit everything that I like. Smoking, eating, anti-anxiety medication. And it doesn't work, because I don't really want to quit.
And everyone feels the need when I bitch about my weight, to explain to me like I'm half-retarded, that I need to exercise.
Huh?
What?
X-ER-SIZE? What does that mean?
I dont care if you are my bff or my mother...if you tell me I need to exercise and watch what I eat, like I've been living in a cave and had no exposure to "healthy living" ideas and that bullshit food pyramid, I WILL bitch-slap you.
I know I am supposed to exercise. I just don't feel like it. Maybe you don't know, because you've never been fat, but the fatter you get, the HARDER IT IS to move. It's exercise for me to walk up a flight of stairs. And I am not even like, hugely fat.
And you think you have company in misery, and then everyone you know who was reliably fat with you goes and gets digestive surgery and loses all the weight.
It really pisses me off. Don't leave me in fatness alone! That means if I am fatter than someone who has ALWAYS been fat, then its like being picked last in gym class, and I have to exercise. Which means I have to quit smoking so I don't fall over when I lose my breath in five minutes.
Everything I knew to be true, was a LIE.
Somewhere between March and June, I gained like 50 lbs. Which really sucks because I had lost that much and bought a bunch of skinny clothes that are now mocking me from my closet down the hall.
I hear them. It grates on my self-image. I feel disgusting for the first time since my tummy tuck a few years ago.
I can't win some days. I try to quit everything that I like. Smoking, eating, anti-anxiety medication. And it doesn't work, because I don't really want to quit.
And everyone feels the need when I bitch about my weight, to explain to me like I'm half-retarded, that I need to exercise.
Huh?
What?
X-ER-SIZE? What does that mean?
I dont care if you are my bff or my mother...if you tell me I need to exercise and watch what I eat, like I've been living in a cave and had no exposure to "healthy living" ideas and that bullshit food pyramid, I WILL bitch-slap you.
I know I am supposed to exercise. I just don't feel like it. Maybe you don't know, because you've never been fat, but the fatter you get, the HARDER IT IS to move. It's exercise for me to walk up a flight of stairs. And I am not even like, hugely fat.
And you think you have company in misery, and then everyone you know who was reliably fat with you goes and gets digestive surgery and loses all the weight.
It really pisses me off. Don't leave me in fatness alone! That means if I am fatter than someone who has ALWAYS been fat, then its like being picked last in gym class, and I have to exercise. Which means I have to quit smoking so I don't fall over when I lose my breath in five minutes.
Everything I knew to be true, was a LIE.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Feed Me, Seymour!
Are you even old enough to get that movie reference??
In any case....
I've been having food issues lately. I didn't "intend" to diet. I am not quite sure how it happened. The best I can think of, is that since I have little to no control over the other things happening in my life right now, I somehow mind-fu@ked myself in to dieting.
It's kind of messed up.
My stomach has been a roiling mess for the past three weeks, as a result...forbidding me to keep anything worthwhile or tasty down. So I've dropped a pretty decent amount of weight, but I am bitchy as hell!
I am HUNGRY!
I had no time this morning before getting to work to stop and grab something, like I had planned. So imagine my surprise and delight when I walked in to the kitchen at work, and saw a giant coffee cake!!!! This bad boy is homemade, and it is 2/3'd crumb topping. It's like the clouds opened and singing came from the heavens!
I took two pieces, and stuck one in my drawer until I could chow down the first piece so no one would see that I had two. lol.
Don't judge me. haha.
Sadly, this is all I will eat today. I can only imagine the calories I am inhaling, but I was so hungry, I really don't care.
We had thunderstorms last night. Probably the first time I have heard thunder up here in NY. I miss the storms we used to get in GA. Andy was talking about them the other night because of how bad they have been down south and out west. I LOVE thunderstorms. One of my 10 most favorite things. In fact...let's bust out my 10 most favorite things for the month of April, in no particular order:
1. THUNDERSTORMS
2. Fondue
3. Taking my kids on trips
4. Not taking my kids, but going on trips
5. Thanksgiving Dinner
6. Christmas Eve
7. Sleeping in
8. Shopping
9. Pork, Sauerkraut and Mashed Potatoes, Mexican Food and Red Robin Banzai Burgers
10. Laying in bed watching Criminal Minds marathons, HGTV, Food Network and Bravo
Yes, you noticed too, that food played a big part of things I love. That's why I am so sad and miserable right now...because I have none of those things. Other than the traveling, I sound very lethargic, huh? lol. What did you expect, me to say I like running or exercise? No way...I HATE running. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I dont mind some forms of exercise, but I need to be properly entertained while I do it.
-Sigh-
So now I am full, and it's raining, and I wish I could nap.
Tell me some of your favorite things!
In any case....
I've been having food issues lately. I didn't "intend" to diet. I am not quite sure how it happened. The best I can think of, is that since I have little to no control over the other things happening in my life right now, I somehow mind-fu@ked myself in to dieting.
It's kind of messed up.
My stomach has been a roiling mess for the past three weeks, as a result...forbidding me to keep anything worthwhile or tasty down. So I've dropped a pretty decent amount of weight, but I am bitchy as hell!
I am HUNGRY!
I had no time this morning before getting to work to stop and grab something, like I had planned. So imagine my surprise and delight when I walked in to the kitchen at work, and saw a giant coffee cake!!!! This bad boy is homemade, and it is 2/3'd crumb topping. It's like the clouds opened and singing came from the heavens!
I took two pieces, and stuck one in my drawer until I could chow down the first piece so no one would see that I had two. lol.
Don't judge me. haha.
Sadly, this is all I will eat today. I can only imagine the calories I am inhaling, but I was so hungry, I really don't care.
We had thunderstorms last night. Probably the first time I have heard thunder up here in NY. I miss the storms we used to get in GA. Andy was talking about them the other night because of how bad they have been down south and out west. I LOVE thunderstorms. One of my 10 most favorite things. In fact...let's bust out my 10 most favorite things for the month of April, in no particular order:
1. THUNDERSTORMS
2. Fondue
3. Taking my kids on trips
4. Not taking my kids, but going on trips
5. Thanksgiving Dinner
6. Christmas Eve
7. Sleeping in
8. Shopping
9. Pork, Sauerkraut and Mashed Potatoes, Mexican Food and Red Robin Banzai Burgers
10. Laying in bed watching Criminal Minds marathons, HGTV, Food Network and Bravo
Yes, you noticed too, that food played a big part of things I love. That's why I am so sad and miserable right now...because I have none of those things. Other than the traveling, I sound very lethargic, huh? lol. What did you expect, me to say I like running or exercise? No way...I HATE running. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I dont mind some forms of exercise, but I need to be properly entertained while I do it.
-Sigh-
So now I am full, and it's raining, and I wish I could nap.
Tell me some of your favorite things!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I think we have only spent 5 weekends home since Andy came back from Iraq with no company since July. So we are going to Turning Stone Casino near Syracuse, NY for New Years Eve to have some “alone time”, which is sorely needed. We are leaving tonight, and all week, I have been like a crack addict jonesing for her next fix! I love-love-love gambling!!! I have dreams a week before we go to a casino that I am going to win big, and then it never happens. You would think I'd learn by now, but I can't stop myself from getting excited.
It’s been a mixed bag, this year and I have held up pretty well considering. Finances are the only thing I really didn't stress out much about, and it's usually the #1 thing that makes me lose sleep. But this year, I had a great opportunity to pay off a lot of debt, which took a lot of stress off my shoulders, especially since we are moving in 6 more months.
My New Years Resolutions:
1. To go to bed earlier. I keep myself awake on weeknights so I can watch tv, like a child who is afraid they will miss something. I am going to invoke my right to DVR, and get those much needed extra Z’s. I will even fall asleep with the tv on, saying I'm "listening" to the show, even though I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
2. To finally quit smoking. I have made several haphazard attempts to quit smoking for the past 3 years, but this time I will do it for good. I will miss it, but I won’t. I think that's why I have been unsuccessful at quitting. To understand how you can love it and hate it, you have to have been a smoker.
3. To lose 50 lbs. I can be okay with not being a size 6, but I need to get the 50 off to keep me healthy and more fit. I fell off the diet-wagon this month, and gained back 10 lbs that I had lost. Now I am paying for it by having to go through the stomach shrinking week all over again! I have to wear a bathing suit in 2 months, people! It's bad enough that the St. Lucian's will have to see my pasty, white skin, but I need to trim a few lbs off too.
I'm afraid my list isn't very original or exciting. But it's relatable, since most people I know have the same things on their lists.
Good luck to everyone in making their resolutions happen, and I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It’s been a mixed bag, this year and I have held up pretty well considering. Finances are the only thing I really didn't stress out much about, and it's usually the #1 thing that makes me lose sleep. But this year, I had a great opportunity to pay off a lot of debt, which took a lot of stress off my shoulders, especially since we are moving in 6 more months.
My New Years Resolutions:
1. To go to bed earlier. I keep myself awake on weeknights so I can watch tv, like a child who is afraid they will miss something. I am going to invoke my right to DVR, and get those much needed extra Z’s. I will even fall asleep with the tv on, saying I'm "listening" to the show, even though I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
2. To finally quit smoking. I have made several haphazard attempts to quit smoking for the past 3 years, but this time I will do it for good. I will miss it, but I won’t. I think that's why I have been unsuccessful at quitting. To understand how you can love it and hate it, you have to have been a smoker.
3. To lose 50 lbs. I can be okay with not being a size 6, but I need to get the 50 off to keep me healthy and more fit. I fell off the diet-wagon this month, and gained back 10 lbs that I had lost. Now I am paying for it by having to go through the stomach shrinking week all over again! I have to wear a bathing suit in 2 months, people! It's bad enough that the St. Lucian's will have to see my pasty, white skin, but I need to trim a few lbs off too.
I'm afraid my list isn't very original or exciting. But it's relatable, since most people I know have the same things on their lists.
Good luck to everyone in making their resolutions happen, and I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Things I love: Diet Foods that don’t suck
If you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that I will not eat something that doesn’t taste good. In my current battle of the thunder thighs,and recently inspired by the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (skinny bitches!!!!), I have uncovered some decent foods that don’t make me want to eat my own hand:
Chobani Greek Yogurt: This stuff is 0% fat! I was afraid to try it because it just sounds like something chunky and gross. But greek yogurt is the same consistency as regular yogurt, just a little creamier and heavier. It keeps you full longer and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. And the best thing is that I use the plain as a substitute for sour cream, so I can still indulge myself when I eat baked potatoes, pierogies and chicken quesadillas….oh my!
Pringles Stix/Honey Butter: These little sticks are so delicious, I want to lick the inside of the package(and sometimes do!). Only 90 calories a pack, they make you feel like you are eating something bad for you so you don’t give in when you have that late night craving. They fulfill both the sweet and the salty, and taste like a little cracker stick.
Green Giant Singles Pack/Cauliflower and Cheese Sauce: These little individual microwave containers are sold in a four pack in the freezer section. It’s actually covered in cheese sauce! You can also get broccoli and cheese sauce. The best part, is that they are only 40 calories and if you do Weight Watchers, it’s 0 points! I have one of these with my dinner every night and a glass of milk to help give me the illusion I am full.
100 Calorie Cheese Bites: I crave cheese like no tomorrow, but it’s one of the things that hinder me from losing weight. I was so happy when I found they sell 100 cal packs of cheese cubes in all different flavors. They taste like normal cheese, no imitations. I like to have a pack with my Friday night wine, or as an afternoon snack to get me through until dinner.
Smartones Meals: These are the only diet meals I can even come close to eating. My favorites are the mini-cheeseburgers and the Cranberry Turkey Medallions. They are small, but if you add a small salad to the burger, or a singles pack of veggies(see above), then you feel pretty full. Most meals are under 300 calories and are full of flavor.
I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!
Chobani Greek Yogurt: This stuff is 0% fat! I was afraid to try it because it just sounds like something chunky and gross. But greek yogurt is the same consistency as regular yogurt, just a little creamier and heavier. It keeps you full longer and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. And the best thing is that I use the plain as a substitute for sour cream, so I can still indulge myself when I eat baked potatoes, pierogies and chicken quesadillas….oh my!
Pringles Stix/Honey Butter: These little sticks are so delicious, I want to lick the inside of the package(and sometimes do!). Only 90 calories a pack, they make you feel like you are eating something bad for you so you don’t give in when you have that late night craving. They fulfill both the sweet and the salty, and taste like a little cracker stick.
Green Giant Singles Pack/Cauliflower and Cheese Sauce: These little individual microwave containers are sold in a four pack in the freezer section. It’s actually covered in cheese sauce! You can also get broccoli and cheese sauce. The best part, is that they are only 40 calories and if you do Weight Watchers, it’s 0 points! I have one of these with my dinner every night and a glass of milk to help give me the illusion I am full.
100 Calorie Cheese Bites: I crave cheese like no tomorrow, but it’s one of the things that hinder me from losing weight. I was so happy when I found they sell 100 cal packs of cheese cubes in all different flavors. They taste like normal cheese, no imitations. I like to have a pack with my Friday night wine, or as an afternoon snack to get me through until dinner.
Smartones Meals: These are the only diet meals I can even come close to eating. My favorites are the mini-cheeseburgers and the Cranberry Turkey Medallions. They are small, but if you add a small salad to the burger, or a singles pack of veggies(see above), then you feel pretty full. Most meals are under 300 calories and are full of flavor.
I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Bargaining with the Food Devil
So, I was calculating what calorie-allotment I am allowed to have on my MyPlate diet, and plugging away all of the things I am making for Thanksgiving. I am allowed to have half a sliver of pumpkin pie, a spoonful of gravy and 3 oz of turkey.
Or I can have two bottles of wine.
Yeah, like that’s going to happen. (There is really no choice there.)
There were days at my fattest, when I seriously contemplated gastric bypass surgery. It sounds too easy to have a surgery and lose 100 lbs in 6 months. I stopped considering it because I couldn’t get past the image of eating Thanksgiving Dinner out of a Dixie Cup. In fact, I think it made me actually cry a little bit for those who HAVE gotten the surgery done. The one holiday that’s whole existence is to feast, and you would be done in one bite. It’s just sad.
I will pour some gravy on the floor this Thanksgiving to honor you, comrades.
I haven’t really discussed it on my blog, but I have been dieting since October 4th.
I know the exact date because it was the last time I have had real butter.
If you know me, that’s a feat in itself. I don’t think I have ever bought margarine before, and it’s very confusing to know which one to go with. Nevertheless, I will lose 60 lbs before I move in May. But the problem is that I didn’t know what to do in the world of diet foods. I am not normally a “snacker” so I didn’t really know if it would be a good thing to eat those 5 smaller meals. I thought it may just encourage me to eat more often, which is a slippery slope. I ended up with a pretty good system. My mom recommended using MyPlate on www.livestrong.com to track my calories. It tells you how many you can eat per week, depending on your size and how many lbs a week you want to lose. I’ve lost 26 lbs since I started, which SOUNDS good, but since I need to lose about 80, it’s like dropping a stone in a pail. My biggest struggle with food, is that I have to constantly remind myself that this is not the last time I will be able to experience it. Like my taste buds are scared that they will never see the likes of another taco, so I have to eat 12. I eat for the taste. I eat for the endorphins. Cheeseburgers are one of the top things in life that make me truly happy. If that makes me shallow, so be it. And so I have had to “up” my dosage of Xanax and cigarettes to compensate.
Don’t judge me.
Thursday, I will eat my Thanksgiving Dinner. And I will eat it with pride. But I will not over-do it and wreck my accomplishments thus far. I WILL wrestle with the Food Devil, and win. And so can all of you who are trying hard to shed some lbs this holiday season, instead of embracing the fat-girl within for one more Christmas.
Shameless Begging About to Commence: I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!
Or I can have two bottles of wine.
Yeah, like that’s going to happen. (There is really no choice there.)
There were days at my fattest, when I seriously contemplated gastric bypass surgery. It sounds too easy to have a surgery and lose 100 lbs in 6 months. I stopped considering it because I couldn’t get past the image of eating Thanksgiving Dinner out of a Dixie Cup. In fact, I think it made me actually cry a little bit for those who HAVE gotten the surgery done. The one holiday that’s whole existence is to feast, and you would be done in one bite. It’s just sad.
I will pour some gravy on the floor this Thanksgiving to honor you, comrades.
I haven’t really discussed it on my blog, but I have been dieting since October 4th.
I know the exact date because it was the last time I have had real butter.
If you know me, that’s a feat in itself. I don’t think I have ever bought margarine before, and it’s very confusing to know which one to go with. Nevertheless, I will lose 60 lbs before I move in May. But the problem is that I didn’t know what to do in the world of diet foods. I am not normally a “snacker” so I didn’t really know if it would be a good thing to eat those 5 smaller meals. I thought it may just encourage me to eat more often, which is a slippery slope. I ended up with a pretty good system. My mom recommended using MyPlate on www.livestrong.com to track my calories. It tells you how many you can eat per week, depending on your size and how many lbs a week you want to lose. I’ve lost 26 lbs since I started, which SOUNDS good, but since I need to lose about 80, it’s like dropping a stone in a pail. My biggest struggle with food, is that I have to constantly remind myself that this is not the last time I will be able to experience it. Like my taste buds are scared that they will never see the likes of another taco, so I have to eat 12. I eat for the taste. I eat for the endorphins. Cheeseburgers are one of the top things in life that make me truly happy. If that makes me shallow, so be it. And so I have had to “up” my dosage of Xanax and cigarettes to compensate.
Don’t judge me.
Thursday, I will eat my Thanksgiving Dinner. And I will eat it with pride. But I will not over-do it and wreck my accomplishments thus far. I WILL wrestle with the Food Devil, and win. And so can all of you who are trying hard to shed some lbs this holiday season, instead of embracing the fat-girl within for one more Christmas.
Shameless Begging About to Commence: I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Plastic Surgery: My Tummy Tuck
So, lots of people have asked me about my tummy tuck. What was it like? Did it hurt? Was it expensive? etc……So I guess I will just tell you my story, because I’m not really shy and if you ask me about it in person, I will totally try to show you my scar like a proud 4 year old.
About two years ago, right before my 10 year high school reunion, I was feeling pretty down about myself. I had made it through having two children and didn’t gain a ton of weight. But then I moved to Alaska and gained about 80 lbs in 6 months when I was 21 years old. Over the years, I struggled with gaining and losing weight. In reality, I always will. I had always wanted a tummy tuck, even when I was thin in high school. I never had a flat stomach….my gut was almost like a pet. It was always there. So as my high school reunion neared, I decided that I was going to go to a consultation and at least get the info.
I went to Chattahoochee Valley Plastic Surgery in Columbus, GA and saw Dr. Naman. A girl I knew had gotten her boobs done there, and they looked amazing. Dr. Naman graduated from Princeton and worked at the Mayo Clinic. If you are going to get plastic surgery, please check out your doctor. This person could completely screw you up!
I went in, discussed why I wanted a tummy tuck and my expectations. After discussing pricing (which was $4500) I walked out with an appointment for the following Monday to have my surgery. Now you can pay cash for surgery, or most plastic surgeons will finance them, like a car. The cost was what had made me wait so long to decide to move forward with this, because I felt guilty spending that much on myself.
I went in the day of my appointment, they knocked me out, and about 3 hours later, I woke up. I was groggy and tired, but not really in any pain. They stitched my abs back together because if you have kids, pregnancy often separates the muscles, making the wall sag. The stitches inside, I could feel if I breathed too hard or coughed. The incision didn’t hurt at all because when they open you up, they detach the nerve endings.
For the next 10 days, I had to walk bending over and constantly slather Neosporin over my incision so it would stay moist and heal with minimal scarring, which it did pretty quickly. I had to lie in bed with a pillow under my knees and slightly sitting up, but the painkillers they give you knock you out, so you still sleep. I took a week off work, but probably should have taken about 10 days. You wear a big Ace bandage around your stomach for a month. It helps the scar tissue form tighter around your abdomen.
A month later I was at my high school reunion, and everyone probably thought I had gotten implants rather than a tummy tuck, since I was pretty flat-chested until I had my kids. The money I spent was well worth the cost and the minimal discomfort I was in. I don’t ever feel like I look horrible now. I have days that are better than others, but I never want to just give up on myself. My husband has told me that if he knew what a big difference it would make for my self-esteem, he would have let me do it years ago!
Please feel free to ask me any other questions you might have about this topic.
About two years ago, right before my 10 year high school reunion, I was feeling pretty down about myself. I had made it through having two children and didn’t gain a ton of weight. But then I moved to Alaska and gained about 80 lbs in 6 months when I was 21 years old. Over the years, I struggled with gaining and losing weight. In reality, I always will. I had always wanted a tummy tuck, even when I was thin in high school. I never had a flat stomach….my gut was almost like a pet. It was always there. So as my high school reunion neared, I decided that I was going to go to a consultation and at least get the info.
I went to Chattahoochee Valley Plastic Surgery in Columbus, GA and saw Dr. Naman. A girl I knew had gotten her boobs done there, and they looked amazing. Dr. Naman graduated from Princeton and worked at the Mayo Clinic. If you are going to get plastic surgery, please check out your doctor. This person could completely screw you up!
I went in, discussed why I wanted a tummy tuck and my expectations. After discussing pricing (which was $4500) I walked out with an appointment for the following Monday to have my surgery. Now you can pay cash for surgery, or most plastic surgeons will finance them, like a car. The cost was what had made me wait so long to decide to move forward with this, because I felt guilty spending that much on myself.
I went in the day of my appointment, they knocked me out, and about 3 hours later, I woke up. I was groggy and tired, but not really in any pain. They stitched my abs back together because if you have kids, pregnancy often separates the muscles, making the wall sag. The stitches inside, I could feel if I breathed too hard or coughed. The incision didn’t hurt at all because when they open you up, they detach the nerve endings.
For the next 10 days, I had to walk bending over and constantly slather Neosporin over my incision so it would stay moist and heal with minimal scarring, which it did pretty quickly. I had to lie in bed with a pillow under my knees and slightly sitting up, but the painkillers they give you knock you out, so you still sleep. I took a week off work, but probably should have taken about 10 days. You wear a big Ace bandage around your stomach for a month. It helps the scar tissue form tighter around your abdomen.
A month later I was at my high school reunion, and everyone probably thought I had gotten implants rather than a tummy tuck, since I was pretty flat-chested until I had my kids. The money I spent was well worth the cost and the minimal discomfort I was in. I don’t ever feel like I look horrible now. I have days that are better than others, but I never want to just give up on myself. My husband has told me that if he knew what a big difference it would make for my self-esteem, he would have let me do it years ago!
Please feel free to ask me any other questions you might have about this topic.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Countdown to KP Duty
So, Andy comes home last night and tells me we are having 13-15 people over for Thanksgiving.
While this is not a new feat to tackle, I had hoped to keep our guestlist to a minimum number of single soldiers this year. I was thinking, 3 or 4. Instead, he invited ALL of the single soldiers and even a few couples. I am not a mean person, but I don't have room for all of these people. All night long, I find myself wondering "would it be wrong to make my kids, my parents or the soldiers eat in the other room?"
After I had my 5-minute freakout...I realized this is manageable. After the first several times you host large groupings of men in their late teens/early twenties and you see how much they eat, you don't feeling guilty handing out assignments as to what they can bring with them. Married couples have cooking facilities, so they are more than capable of providing some sort of side dish. Always give your husband the menu so he can relay what you are already making, dodging the awkwardness of "oh, ANOTHER jello mold!" (Okay, so no one makes jello molds anymore, but you get the idea.) Single soldiers can bring the rolls, the pies, the drinks...things that don't require cooking and that they can pick up at the store.
Another word to the wise, unless you want these people at your house for the next 24 hours, plan to eat around 1 or 2pm. Army guys have a tendency to like to drink beer, and before you know it, they are playing poker or watching football or napping while you trying to tame the carnage that is left. One New Years Eve, we had invited a couple over (my first time meeting them) and not only did she leave her drunk husband at my house for the night....she came back the next day with bags full of groceries, let herself in, cooked breakfast in MY kitchen while I was asleep, and proceeded to stay the entire next day until about 10pm!!! She didn't even bring her husband a change of clothes! I will never invite these people over again because I don't know if they will ever leave.
Buy yourself a bottle of wine and save it for after the dishes. Or better yet, put your feet up and enjoy a glass while your husband leads the platoon in KP duty.
After I had my 5-minute freakout...I realized this is manageable. After the first several times you host large groupings of men in their late teens/early twenties and you see how much they eat, you don't feeling guilty handing out assignments as to what they can bring with them. Married couples have cooking facilities, so they are more than capable of providing some sort of side dish. Always give your husband the menu so he can relay what you are already making, dodging the awkwardness of "oh, ANOTHER jello mold!" (Okay, so no one makes jello molds anymore, but you get the idea.) Single soldiers can bring the rolls, the pies, the drinks...things that don't require cooking and that they can pick up at the store.
Another word to the wise, unless you want these people at your house for the next 24 hours, plan to eat around 1 or 2pm. Army guys have a tendency to like to drink beer, and before you know it, they are playing poker or watching football or napping while you trying to tame the carnage that is left. One New Years Eve, we had invited a couple over (my first time meeting them) and not only did she leave her drunk husband at my house for the night....she came back the next day with bags full of groceries, let herself in, cooked breakfast in MY kitchen while I was asleep, and proceeded to stay the entire next day until about 10pm!!! She didn't even bring her husband a change of clothes! I will never invite these people over again because I don't know if they will ever leave.
Buy yourself a bottle of wine and save it for after the dishes. Or better yet, put your feet up and enjoy a glass while your husband leads the platoon in KP duty.
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