Graduation Day....in more ways than one

Today Andy graduates Recruiting School. Thank fucken heavens.
(Can I breathe now?)

It's been a loooooong 7 weeks of torture, sleepless nights and questioning internal strength.

And that was just what I was going through at home.

So today, he gets to stand through a graduation ceremony, hop in to his truck and drive for the next two days to get home, where he will be greeted with a half destroyed house and about 20 appointments next week to prepare for "the move". He hasn't realized this part yet.

Bravo, my love. You took one for the team and agreed to spend the next 3+ years away from your beloved sniper rifle to go sit in an office so that you could actually spend some time at home with your family before your sons graduate and leave. You even agreed to move to California to a city as our first choice because your wifes best friends live there, rather than put Florida as your first choice like I knew you wanted to. And for all this, I love you.

And I know I have to put out now, which I should be happy about after 7 weeks, but all I wish for is a Pennsylvania Dutch Smorgasboard, some stretchy pants and sleep -in that order.

It's also graduation day for me, as I finally broke the weightloss barrier and moved down in the next ten lbs category. I verified this by weighing myself before and after work the past two days. In the evening, I was like 5 lbs heavier than in the morning, but I had on a sock. I am fine with justifying the weight difference with a sock, so shut up.

I still feel like I deserve a full ten lb weightloss for the past week, but I guess I will take it. And probably go right back up over the borderline tonight, because my mom is coming for the weekend. The nice thing is that we can go eat dinner and then settle in to our comfy clothes for a Criminal Minds marathon tonight. I am really looking forward to that.

I also feel like a good showing of "The Ten Commandments" is in order this weekend, to make me feel a little less heathen.

Because in my mind, I justify that God would be okay with me just watching a Charlton Heston movie rather than go to church.

And no...I don't buy my kids Easter baskets. I will buy them a piece of candy as a treat, but if I buy my sons a basket of candy, it will all be eaten in a day that no one will want to remember. Call it cruel...whatever. Unless you are going to come watch my kids while they're on their sugar high, I don't give two shits if it makes me a mean mom.

And on that note...Have a happy Easter!

Where was all that crap hiding???

Sometimes I have my posts planned out, some even written ahead of time. I've been able to swing through this whole blogging thing prepared...

...until now. So who knows what you're going to get?

I know...a discussion about dog poop, because what a better way to start a Monday?

All the snow has now melted and a battle of wills is taking place in my house.

Me VS the children and who is going out there to pick up the carnage?

We both know that I will win, because I hold all the master keys...letting them go outside, letting them play video games...LETTING THEM EAT more than peanut butter everyday...

It's a matter of fortitude and the ability to persevere.

Yesterday, was Day 1 of D.P. Duty. Gavin made it exactly 20 minutes before throwing himself on my floor and crying. It was rather ridiculous. "Child," I said, unsympathetically, "you are going to pick yourself up and just go out there and get it done. I had to do it, and your father's father before you. It's a rite of passage." (okay, so maybe THAT was overdramatizing it a bit too. He gets it from SOMEWHERE.)

It lasted about 90 minutes, and then Gavin fell asleep on the floor. Today it is raining. He will still go out there for 20 minutes when he gets home. Andy and I have no delusions that it's all going to be picked up. But in the next two weeks, they can make a hefty dent in it before Andy gets home. (You really didn't think I was going to do it, did you???) What is your biggest fight with your kids?? I really can't believe I posted about this, but everyone has these arguments with their kids. I don't know about you, but ever since I was a kid and my parents said the reason they had kids was so they didn't ever have to do chores...the thought appealed to me greatly. So I waited and waited until they are finally old enough to do a few chores...AND ITS WONDERFUL...when they do it RIGHT. Which is rarely. Most of the time I have to go back and check 8 times for what they missed while they were half-assing it.

Other than dog feces, I would have to say that I had a great, relaxing weekend. I managed to lose 12 lbs this week. I did not manage to quit smoking, but I am trying to make myself smoke less every day and I switched to shorter cigarettes, which, in my mind HAS to count a little bit.

We also got the house we wanted in Cali!! I was very relieved to hear this news. It makes a big difference when you know you are going to have a house to go to and not spend weeks in a hotel. It also makes it much easier to budget. We want to get there and enjoy our summer, not be so cash-strapped after moving that we have nothing.

Fact One: The Army is giving us approx. $5000 to move & having movers come pack us up and move us.

Fact Two: The cost of driving two vehicles cross country, staying in hotels for two weeks, and eating out will equal that $5000.

So the $2000 security deposit and $3100 first month's rent is coming out of whose pocket you ask? Mine. The army doesn't cover everything, folks.

Little ole, soon to be unemployed me. Thats another fun hit to take when moving....losing my job. Thankfully, I have some interest already which is great considering I won't be available for work until mid to late June.

I have a question for you....what is a great vacuum cleaner for pet hair, and a good steam cleaner for my rugs??? I need to buy new ones....SOON. It's like we breed Llamas in my house, so much damn fur. lol.

Well, my morning started off with "MmmmBop", how bout yours???

With a title like that, I know you are all expecting me to have some snarky remark about Hanson, and waking up to bubblegum, pop music at 6am.

But I LIKE that song. What's not to like about a trio of long, flaxen-haired brothers? It makes you feel good. Actually, it makes me feel like an 17 year old because that's how old I was when it came out. And that's probably the real reason I have a fond attachment to it. Most mornings, I'm not really looking at myself in the mirror when I get ready. I'm mindlessly getting ready and not noticing the deep lines that have started to cut beneath my eyes, and how giant my pores have become. So other days, when I really LOOK, its quite alarming that I've started to show my age.

Don't get me wrong...I know I am "only 31". (I really thought I was 32 already, because I start rounding up halfway through the year.) I don't look 31...I could probably pass for 27 on a good day. Lord help me if I ever lose a bunch of weight, because then my wrinkles will be more pronounced and I will age drastically overnight. My fat is a good camoflage for my skin. There are pros and cons to everything in life.

We are still waiting to hear on whether we got this house in CA. I am too tired to be that stressed about it this week. I don't remember what I was watching or reading, but it said that half the stuff we stress about doesn't even happen and the other half works out....or something like that. That's a really good point. I could sit and stress about whether we will not get paid for the next month, but will we even HAVE a government shutdown?? Will it last longer than a few days? At this point, it seems illogical to get more than irritated at the politics of it. I don't imagine photos of long lines of military families at soup kitchens is what politicians really want floating around during a campaigning year, so if it does happen, I don't see it lasting long.

I do get rather perturbed at people who think government employees make all kind of money...Uh, I don't. I make half as much as I would in the private sector in CA, but more than I would in upstate NY. Its all relative for most government workers that are entry/midlevel. It's good benefits...and *usually* job stability. But both of my familys incomes are government, so my husband's pay will stop too. Sometimes we have money in savings, and sometimes we don't. Right now, we do because we are about to move. But it's not always the case. Many young military families are living on under $20k a year. Sure, you can make the argument that it's your own fault if you choose to have kids and still live paycheck to paycheck, but I don't think you realize that if you think this way, you are unrealistic and an ASSHOLE. Most people live paycheck to paycheck in this country.

Sometimes I want to slap people. (Okay, LOTS of times, I want to slap people. But rarely do I. {cough})

I've gotten rather long-winded this week. And you are all holding back your comments. It makes me sad.

I bought these shoes, then it all just kind of went from there...

I got home to PA on Thursday night, and my intentions were to keep the whole trip under $300.

My intentions were good, but very, very off-track.

Friday:
Mom and I went shopping.

I know, I know...this is the last freaken place I should've gone. I promised myself like 8 times I was just going to look. Then I saw the 50% off EVERYTHING sale at NY&Co. and out the door went that idea. Everything really WAS 50% off!!! I could've spent all day in there, but we left the boys on a bench out in the mall while we tried on our arm-loads of clothes. They got good and pissed, and kept texting us to hurry up. We told them if they just sat there and took it like men, we would make it worth their while.

So I got a few things, spent $88 and swore to not spend more.

Til I saw these H by Halston shoes and I knew it was already too late the moment I set eyes on them. I will update this with a picture later when I get home. They have about a 7 inch heel and 2 inch platform.

Dems' hooker shoes.

By the time Friday shopping trip was over, I had spend $200. Then I went to dinner with my sister, mom and brother in law. Another $100 down.

Then a last minute text to my cousins, and my plans for the night were completed. Let me just say, it's Monday and I still hurt. My cousins are in their early 20s, and while I kept up in terms of drinks, my body couldnt keep up with me. At one point, my ankles couldnt bear the weight of my body with those shoes at such a high angle, and I just fell. I had to take the shoes off bc I couldn't stand up anymore. My ankles were just weakened. I can tell this is going to be a gradual training process.

I also spend about $200 for Gavins bday party Saturday. Then I ended up staying all day yesterday and finally got back to my house in NY around midnight.

I had a good weekend. It was sad to leave, since it's the last time I will be home for probably 6-8 months. I am a basket of hormones and have cried almost nonstop. I didn't think it would make me so sad to leave them all, since I live 5 hours away anyway. But other than when I lived in Alaska, Ive always been within a 14 hour car ride home. I also miss Andy. And we are still waiting to find out if we have this house out in Cali. I had fun this weekend though,despite my dread over the long drive. It's always nice to put things behind you and look onward to the next adventure....

which takes place in San Francisco, in about 4 weeks when Andy and I fly out on our scouting trip, sans kids.

A birthday party kind of mood...

I'm goin' home, yo.

I leave tomorrow to head to good ole Lancaster, PA for the weekend. It's the last time I see my family before we head cross country to San Francisco.

It's also my brat's birthday (Gavin), aka: My Payback. He's already had two birthday events..one being a birthday dinner in St Lucia with a cake, since Andy is gone for the 5th year in a row. And then his sleepover last weekend, of which the effects are still, well...effecting me. This kid is milking it too. He know what cards to play when it comes to "my daddy missed my birthday again." I think at this point, we can all agree that a normal birthday is without Daddy, so give it up, kid.

This weekend, we are going to my grandparents house and my cousins are coming. And we are having ANOTHER birthday party for him. He will be thrilled at the propect of multiple presents, since mostly it involves birthday cards in the mail, and nothing to open in person. It will be great to see everyone before we go...undoubtedly, we won't be home for a while.

I never seem to have time when I go home to see my friends. I would love to go see one of my best friends, "Waif", as I have called her since high school. But she's another two hours from my moms, and its pretty much a whole day event to drive down and back. It really sucks that we can't see each other more often, but most of my best friends have no kids or little kids and no money. Now I am in the stage I can laugh at them because my kids are old enough to amuse themselves and I have a fair amount of boredom because they also do chores. I can start living again!

Moving across the country again reminds me of when I first left home to get married at 19. A week after my wedding, Andy came up to move our mismatched things down to our humble abode on Ft Benning. My best friends out in the yard of my parents house, saying goodbye. We cried like we were dying. I've always had a flair for the dramatic. Poor Andy must have felt like an asshole...lol. Taking me away from the life and people I knew to move to GA with him and our two month old son.

Now I am moving out west. To a real city. With things to do every day, places to see. Something to experience, other than people going in their pajamas to the grocery store. And I am moving to two of the best friends I have, which I never thought would happen again.

But I feel guilty leaving my family. (Damn conscience.)

My grandparents won't fly. This probably bothers me the most, since they are getting up there in age and I love them to death. My grandfather had a quadruple heart bypass last spring, and I was by his side for a week. They have to be a priority to me to come home to see regularly.

My sisters are starting their families. I don't want to miss my nephews and niece's adoption. But I don't think that realistically, we will be able to fly back as soon as this summer. Births, I will be home for. I will not miss those.

My parents are on their own. After two years of living with me, my dad is moving back to PA. It's like they are just starting over again with life, by themselves.

I hate to leave them.

But I know I have to. I knew from the time I was about 10, that I would need to go far and away. I have that wandering spirit. That's why the military wife gig suits me. I need new things, new places, and new people. I take only the bare minimum friends with me...keeping in touch is hard and it's about quality.

Now I am kind of sad. But excitement reigns in my body. I am going to break it down.

A house is not a home.

I've found my mind completely shot the past two weeks.

I am still not sleeping. My dreams are full of all the rental houses I've been looking at obsessively.

When we moved up to NY from Fort Benning, GA...there was a similar problem with quality rentals being available on the market. Mostly because there are no quality houses up here. (lol. but seriously.)

So I found a house on Craigslist that looked SUPER nice. After finding out it was a SGT Major that owned it, I figured they are senior level and trustworthy.

Boy was I wrong. $2500 worth of wrong.

I had given them the deposit because I was a homeowner and I knew how antsy they must be renting their house to a stranger. Plus, then I knew it was locked down and we had a place to go.

Then we arrived. The house was a DISASTER. Mold in the basement, where three of the bedrooms were, melted popsicles on the floor, spray painted windows in the living room and an iron mark in the middle of the bedroom floor. I was pissed. The lady's mom was there and got furious with me when I said I wasn't taking it. She shrieked at me how it was a beautiful home.

Even if these people were so inbred that they thought their house was amazing, it was telling that NONE of these issues were in the pictures. They kept close attention to masking those details. The people up here are like that movie, "The Hills Have Eyes." I am terrified to drive through the southwest.

Basically I tried to get my money back, and even tried to file in small claims court against them, but I couldn't because they were in Texas. So we were screwed, homeless and out another $2500 deposit that we had to put down in a shoebox of a townhouse to wait until housing was available ON Ft Drum.

In essence, it was a disaster of epic porportions and Andy blames me BIG TIME for #1-Renting a house without someone seeing it in person and #2-Because I was a moron for making us move to Ft Drum because my friend was moving here and no other valid reason. (It's true...I have to suck both of these up, much to my chagrin. There is simply no one else to blame this on.)

So now Andy is afraid to lock down a house in CA before we can see it, which I would be too if it weren't for my BFF's who can go look at homes for us. I trust their judgement. If anything, they are even more picky than me.

I found one great one, minus the fact that it's only one bathroom. But Andy is skeptical. Leaving us disagreeing on what we are going to realistically get. I can tell you this much...if we don't go with something good bc we are waiting for something better to come along and then can't find anything, I will be the one who is mad.

FML.

I wonder what it will be like to not dream in camouflage…

Now that it seems more real to me, I’ve been pondering the realities of living far away from the army. I’ve been a military wife for 12 years and had it dictate most of my life.

What will it be like to not have 10 single guys over for Thanksgiving? (No one drunk, punching holes in my storage bins.)

What will it be like to not have to show my military ID to buy a soda at the shoppette, saving me the tax break of 6 cents? (Less of a pain in the ass when I forgot it, and have to drive home.)

What will it be like to have my car break down and not have 4 willing and able-bodied gentlemen in uniform stop to help me? (Mildly disappointing, I’m sure)

I think one of the things that stresses me out is the fact Andy and I have horrible potty-mouths, as does everyone in the army. I can sensor myself quite well at work. I always have been able to. But around my friends, it become harder to not drop the F-bomb, especially around children. Yes, I am a horrible mother and I swear in front of my sons. But I never really thought it was an issue because I don’t think swearing is that bad..they are just words and ones the kids hear from their friends and on tv anyway. I do realize though, that most of the population frowns upon it. I am reprimanded by my friends who talk to me on speakerphone while their kids are in the room and I inadvertently let one fly. (Ooops.)

Andy is HORRIBLE with dropping the F-Bomb. He says it in front of our parents, which I smack him for. I told him he is going to have to make a concerted effort to NOT swear at work. Can you imagine him giving a briefing on joining the military in front of a group of high school kids at the school? This is my worst fear. My two best friends live in CA, near where we are trying to go. Their husbands haven’t met Andy yet. I have anxieties that they might not like him. This is probably foolish of me, since most men like Andy, and so do most women. He’s a “guys guy”, but he’s a huge help around the house. The man owns a sewing machine for chrissakes. I have no idea how to operate it. But I worry that his rough-around-the-edges, unrefined conversation will offend my BFF’s more office acclimated husbands.

I’ve wasted most of my week doing research on houses, hotels and apartments. I’ve looked at jobs that I can’t yet apply for. I even have our travel route mapped out, complete with where we will stop for nights. WHY? Because I can’t stand to sit on my hands when I have such a big feat ahead. I am ready to go NOW. But I still have two more months until I can actually start checking boxes off my To-Do List.

Yes, I can finally stop whining about where I'm moving....right after I blog about it!

Well, friends...the verdict is in!

I had an unusually long meeting yesterday at work, and I was dying to get out and check Andy's email to see if the recruiter had responded with our assignment. Andy had called me the same time the meeting broke, so he was on the phone with me when I was opening it...and low and behold, it said very simply, "You are assigned to the Fresno, CA Battalion."

I'M MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is amazing. For the first 20 minutes, I felt a little rocked and even nauseous. I really thought we'd be moving to Florida. So much, that I had only really starting compiling research for Florida. This is a huge move, since we are in Upstate NY, and we have two dogs to bring with us that are NOT lap-sized. It's going to be pretty crazy to load it all up in 3 months and move it across the country.

And it's super overwhelming. Starting over, finding a new job, a house, schools, doctors. The only part that makes me feel calm in this is knowing that two of my very best friends live there. They are like sisters to me, except they are sisters that I picked. lol. We've been friends since we were younger than my sons are now. And I've always wanted to live in NY and Cali...although my NY dreams were more in the city, so this wasn't the experience I had imagined.

Let me explain about the "Fresno" part. That's the name of the region we chose, not that we will be living in Fresno. When Andy talked to them yesterday (yes, I made him call IMMEDIATELY)they asked where we wanted to be, and he told them close to San Francisco, since my friends live there. So they said they will have an actual city assignment for us by Wednesday. I won't hold them to that, but I can tell you Andy will be calling them on Thursday if we don't hear back from them.

In any case, my nerves will calm and clear when I find out the city because I will be in PCS-mode, making plans and arrangements. I work best under pressure. I am not really too worried about this move, when I realize I moved to Alaska with a 6 month old and a 18 month old. If I can do that, I can pretty much run the world.

I celebrated with an Ambien, so I could actually sleep for a full night and I was so exhausted, I racked out about 10pm...which is early for me. It seems real now, that we will be finally getting out of this awful place, because Ft Drum sucks balls.

Where was the worst place you lived and why?




Shameless Begging About to Commence: I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" (on the second page) and click on the "like" button.

Revenge is a dish best served cold…and from Friendly’s

I’m a little pleased with myself since I misbehaved over the weekend. My youngest sister and I took our other sister’s foster kids to Friendly’s. My sister had no idea we had them, since she was at work and her husband was at home with them. We just called him up and told him we were coming to get them. My sister and her husband are VERY strict with the kids. Part of that is being new to parenting…and part of that is just mean (haha). So the kids had asked me if I would take them to Friendly’s because they said they weren’t ever there before. So we took them as a surprise.

It took us no less than 30 minutes just for them to decide what to get. We told the kids when we got there, that they could have ANYTHING they wanted. It took a little prodding in the right direction for them to even realize the possibilities that were before them. But two of them ended up ordering 5 scoop sundaes. Amazingly, they ate it all AND finished my sisters’ and my own sundae too. I was a little concerned they were going to vomit all over my car…so we decided to drive them over to my sister’s work and drop them off to her to bring home with her! Lol. First she was mad because we bought them balloons, and then was worried when she noticed “Friendly’s” on the side of the balloons. “You got them ICE CREAM???” She screamed. It was then that I told her she could see all the pictures the next day, like the movie, “The Hangover”…if she wanted to know what happened. LOL!

She ended up not too mad…but I am sure it will be awhile before she lets me take the kids again without prior notice!

In other news, they actually closed Ft Drum yesterday, due to the “snow storm” we had. If you ask me, it was no different than the “snow storms” we get on a weekly basis here, but hey, I am NOT complaining. I spent the entire day in bed, shirking my household and blogger duties. I guess this was the Groundhog’s way of saying, “Uh, no bitch…” to an early spring.

I find myself growing more and more stressed out as February slowly progresses. I realized my suitcases are not going to cut it for this vacation, so that’s one more thing to work in the already tight budget. We are trying to sock away not only money to move in May, but 6 months of my pay so that I have adequate time to find a new job once we get settled. We determined that we will get about $5k from the army, but we would be lucky if that will cover a deposit on a house. So it’s going to end up costing us about another $6k just to move, not including the loss of my income. There are also fun things, like a new sofa in the works. I can’t buy one now because we have no idea what kind of space we will have to work with. Keep your fingers crossed that we find out what state we are going to next week. There is a small possibility we could have an answer as soon as Wednesday.