Um...yeah, me neither...

Did you ever buy a Ped-egg, as seen on tv, and realize you could've done the same half-assed job with a cheese grater?

Did you ever pretend to get another call so you could get off the phone with your mother in law?

Have you ever fed your children so much cereal for dinner that they think Spaghetti O's is a home-cooked meal?
(Haha...it's not quite to that level, but man sometimes I consider it...)

Have you ever sneezed hard and wondered if you shit yourself?

Have you ever silently cursed yourself for not letting your husband have more "guy time" in the beginning, because now he's so well-trained you feel guilty to ask for a girls night out?

Have you ever watched a 12 hour marathon of Law and Order on a Friday night, only to realize you've skipped being your mother and gone straight to your grandmother's social life?

Did you ever question why women say they have "a headache" to avoid sex, and then one day the light bulb went on?

Have you ever seriously considered just buying all new clothes, rather than tackle the mountain of dirty laundry?

Do you ever want a bigger house, for no other reason than to be able to buy more stuff to fill it with?



Shameless Begging About to Commence: I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" (on the second page) and click on the "like" button.

Nothing that a healthy dose of optimism can't cure, right?

Back in the day, I used to be a pretty light soul with a dark, sarcastic element. I think somewhere along the way, I switched over to a dark, sarcastic soul with a casual lightness. That's why you really nice people who exercise and don't make fun of people, like me...opposites attract. I used to be one of you. Maybe it's just the skepticism that comes with age, knowledge and experience...but I miss that old me a little. There was still faith that tomorrow would bring a better day, and that optimism helped to keep out the anxiety and stress.

I can't say things in my life have gotten worse over the years...I live a pretty steady existence. We have a good income, enjoy the fruits of our labor and have a very stable homelife full of love. But it hasn't always been easy. Most of our issues over the years, stemmed from financial issues...mostly with me finding a good job that I liked every time we moved. It really gets to be frustrating to renegotiate from a $50k+ salary to begging for $30k a year. But the stress I have now is mostly things I can't control, and apparently I am a control freak.

So last night...I am laying in bed (where I do my best thinking) and I had a particularly draining issue arise with a former friend. I have chosen to cut this person out of my life, along with another one because they were bringing lots of negative energy my way. It had me all riled up and I was starting to feel very anxious. Then a commercial for the HGTV Dream Home came on, and I started thinking about how nice it would be to win. As I laid there, daydreaming about what I would do with the dough...I realized that the anxiety was lifting off my chest. I felt the weight come right off. Just thinking about something positive made me feel so much better, and so relaxed that I drifted off to sleep.

This got me thinking...maybe there IS something to this "power of positive thinking" and "laws of attraction". Okay, maybe that was taking it a little too far...I am still waaaayyy too dark to believe that you can get something just by willing it to happen. If that was the case, I would have married Donnie Wahlberg at age 10 (he was 17. I loved me some NKOTB.) But in any case, if thinking positively and having that element of hope could make me feel better...then at least it would alleviate some of my anxieties and relax.

Don't worry..I'm not getting all "zen" on you. It's not like I'm about to get up and start doing Yoga. (There is little risk of me getting up to do anything other than get more coffee!)

But I am going to start my "3 Weeks of Positivity" experiment. Every time I start to have a negative thought...I will revert myself to thinking about something good. I know..it's a little bit too "rainbows and puppy dogs"...but those positive thoughts might just be the margaritas I am going to enjoy in St Lucia! (There is ALWAYS a way to spin it!)

If you are so inclined...do it with me. I will report back on Fridays to see what the results are.

Have a great weekend!

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Dude, I need to lay off the Perc's

And so, 6 days after my wisdom teeth came out, I finished the last of my Percocet. (sniffle) It was great going to sleep, feeling like I was floating...not overanalyzing the day I have had. And NO PAIN. Oh yeah...I better update you on that:

So I was having a little bit of pain on Tuesday in my jaw. Not what people describe dry socket to be like...just a dull ache, which was what I had assumed I would feel all week. So I figured since I had to go back to work Wednesday after lounging in bed for 4 days straight, I would get a visit in with the dentist to confirm it WASN'T dry socket. Well, he said it was, and shoved this clove-tasting gauze down in the socket. It didn't hurt, just tasted horribly nasty and I thought I was going to ralph. When Andy got it shoved down his tooth hole, it made him feel better immediately. It has made absolutely NO difference in how my jaw feels AND the dentist didn't give me an antibiotic, which is leading me to believe that I have an infection, NOT dry socket. (Don't you like the way I diagnose myself? Damn WebMD!)

So I am going back today after work to have them pull this gauze out and undoubtedly stuff more back in. My life doesnt sound so glamorous today, huh? All this, and it's still not as bad as I thought it was going to be, so I can't really complain about it.

But back to the Percocet...so I had this cracked out dream that I was trying to call my mom on this retro cordless phone that had an antenna like 2 feet long, and J-Lo was there, bartending but she refused to perform "Jenny on the Block" for us, her long-time, barmate friends, and it really upset me. After all, what is the value of being BFF's with J-Lo if she won't perform her music/dance numbers for you? I also wanted to try on her Versace dress from the P. Diddy Era, but it wouldn't even fit in my dreams. I can only assume J-Lo being in my dream is a reflection of the one haphazard episode of American Idol I unfortunately watched last week. As for the old-ass cordless phone, I am guessing this has something to do with me being attached to my Droid 24/7 lately. It's got something new to play with every day. It's so much better than my Blackberry was. I actually "peeped" from my phone last night for the first time. I keep wanting to type "peed" though. I think I like "tweeted" more.

I am hoping the Dr gives me some more Percocet...and it's not completely lost on me that a drug addict would say the same thing. lol. Honestly, I don't think it would make a difference because my jaw hurts the most while I am at work, and taking narcotics at work is generally frowned upon...At most of the jobs I've had anyway.

Andy and I are headed to PA for the weekend, ALONE...SANS CHILDREN. Which is a good thing, since last night he grounded Gavin for 4 weeks for back-talking. It started with a week, and then Gavin kept going so Andy kept going. I explained to Gavin this morning, the finer points of winning an argument with his father, and that he was not going to EVER win by challenging him. Andy's like a bull...when you challenge him, he sees red and has to charge. I also told Gavin that I could be a powerful and mighty ally to have when he is a teenager, and that I could be "bought" for a price. (I figure if I get in there now, I can profit off this.)He mostly looked confused, as is the case at 6am. Shit, it's 9:15am and I still look confused. Did I mention I've been taking Percocet this week?

Have an awesome Thursday.