Hostage by pregnancy

Seems like I missed the baby bandwagon, since everyone I know has baby fever. They are trying to get pregnant or they are pregnant. I don't have any desire to have another baby at all.

I just feel left out and shriveled up inside, like spoiled fruit.

Pregnancy is a lonely time. No drinking or smoking, which in itself is reason enough for me to not want to experience it again. I find Iake decisions based on my ability to be able to handle my issues with a nice glass of Pinot. You call it a drinking problem, I call it coping mechanism.

Potato, Patata.

It also makes you do weird things, like crave unnatural things. When pregnant with my second child, I craved toilet paper and tissues. Fucken weird, but don't judge me. My pregnant sister asked me to buy her a bag of goldfish cracker last weekend, which I find equally disturbing as wanting to eat paper. "The snack that smiles back."

You don't find that crazy? I don't want a face on ANYTHING I eat. You don't go to the animal farm and share meanful glances with your soon to be cheeseburger, do you? My relationship with my food is cordial, at best. Thank you for your contribution to my weight gain, high cholesterol and five minutes in fatty heaven.

I also find that the world sucks when it comes to getting pregnant. Why do people who have no business reproducing have no issues getting pregnant, while good, stable people try and try?

I will tell you why...
Natural selection.

The world needs weak individuals who won't make it to control the population. Sometimes you are just too special to produce multiple baby geniuses to run the planet. Case in point, most reality tv stars. Who would we laugh at on Worlds Dumbest Criminals if there were no poorly bred fools?