Monday, December 19, 2011

My apologies...

I had a nasty comment...that much you gathered. One day, I will tell you my story, but it won't be for a while.

I'm writing two books.

One is funny stories of my life. The other is a little more intense, but a story worth telling.

Right now, I lay in a crossroads. Unfortunately, it's not one that can be resolved over a cup of tea, or a shot of vodka.

Some of us are lucky enough to either be happy with a perfect life, while most of us lie in wait for the other shoe to drop.

This is where I sit.

But keep faith. Life is cyclical. What you do comes back to you. Do the right thing and in the end it all comes out in the wash. Maybe it's not what you expected, but most blessings are disguised.

Much love...

Again, let me re-state my position...

Well, once again, I got a nasty message from someone clearly insane, who wanted to attack me and my family. Since they AGAIN posted as anonymous, I can't respond to them individually. But I just wanted to say to them that they have no facts, and that they can feel free to go screw themselves.
I feel sorry for them that they have no life, other than to read my blog only to fuel their nastiness and hate.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I've decided....(it will never end)

...that I will continue my trend of buying my own Christmas presents this year. It prevents a morning full of guilt for wanting to choke out your husband because after X amount of years, he still doesn't know you at all.

...that boxed wine, contrary to some new opinions from wine enthusiasts, still tastes like urine. Or what I imagine urine would taste like. I will stick to the stuff that has a cork.

...that there are a lot of people who care too much about the Kardashians. Did any of you REALLY think it was going to work any more than Kim Zolciak's marriage will? The guys are normal. They don't stand a chance with those chicks.

...that I will never stop trying stupid things just to see if I can do them. This includes a high kick, beat-boxing, and trying to rap all the words in Gangsta's Paradise.

...Newt Gingrich? Really? This is the best hope of the white world? If that's the route we are going, I recommend just letting people tweet in their budget plans to Bravo, and then Andy Cohen can hold a texting vote. If you wanted Bill Clinton impeached for being adulterous, then you really can't nominate this dude.

...cats are Satan's minions. They hold grudges and exact revenge while you are sleeping. I admire, yet loathe it. Smarter than kids are.

...starting an impromptu sing-along in real life is not as easy as it appears on tv. Having no one else join in and having to awkwardly fade off in to silence is an experience I could've lived without. I misread a moment.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Case of the Missing Sex Drive.

So, pretty much every married woman I know who is not a newlywed is not happy with their sex life. In fact, we pool ideas on how to creatively avoid it. But what I want to know is why?

Most of us still want it. But do we really want it with our husbands?

Sometimes they get so close, and then say one dumb thing, and I can almost watch my hormones fly out the door. The moment is gone.

Or they want it during prime time television hours.

So what do we do to fix this before we get to the age where it may not be an option anymore, due to ED, which is on the horizon for anyone married to someone over 40.

What are some suggestions to keep the fires lit?

Friday, December 9, 2011

When you're a mother, Friday night are not as fun.

Now that my kids are older, I can be sure that one of them will be gone every weekend at a sleepover. The downside is that the other kid is somewhat of a loner, and I highly encourage him to start making friends so that I actually get a Friday or Saturday night that doesn't involve me having a sad glass, (okay, bottle) of wine in my sweatpants with my snoring husband next to me.

When you get married at 19, and have two kids by 21, you tend to miss out on ridiculousness.

Now, at 32, I am ready to partake, but I missed the boat. Now I have to wait until my friends hit their 50s until they are child free and ready to regress back to doing fun things for the hell of it.

I can really only handle so many reruns.

I need to put on a sexy dress while I still have halfway decent cleavage and shake my butt on a dance floor. But it's kind of hard when almost everyone you know is expecting.

I've found that you have to plan midlife crisis for a time when there are others in your boat. Unfortunately, this is not that time. It's a lot harder to convince someone to pull an all nighter when they are plagued by the idea of being woken up at 6 am by a hungry toddler.

I've felt your pain, but take solace in the fact that it won't be long before they are functioning little beings. One day you WILL sleep again.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Next domination!

As part of my therapy:), I am making future goals so that I begin to look past the current crap and the crap that is clouding my immediate future.

I guess they do this so you don't lose all hope and off yourself when life seems to be handing you a steady stream of lemons.

So my pet project is to decide what I want to do with my life seven years from now, when my boys are off in college.

My answer: Experience the damn world!

So my husband and I each took our BIG book of all the countries in the world (yes, we have one of these) and we each made our own lists of places we may want to live for a year. Then, we combined matches and reevaluated each others unmatched choices to compile the final list, which is now sorted by region.

The plan, is to live in a new country each year for about ten years, and travel to surrounding countries during that time. Of course, we will sprinkle in some jaunts home, but since will have the ability to retire by 40...we might as well make the most of the free time we will have.

The great part about it is that we can immerse ourselves in to different cultures and gain some insight on life outside of the US.

I finally have a focal point to set my sights on!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Lack of interesting FB status has encouraged me to blog more.

I'm bored.

I'm suffering from lack of sleep, due to my husband kicking around all night. I almost murdered him this morning. He got a new phone, and with it, a horrid alarm ringtone that softly sings, "Good morning, good morning." Then loudly blasts "BA BA BA BA BA BA, GOOD MORNING!"

That mother effer kept hitting the snooze!!!

Now, I am not a morning person. At all. But I hate to be woken up cheerfully worse than anything else, bc it is NOT cheerful!

So I sleep best when he is gone during the mornings and get up at lunch time. But it leaves me in a quandary at night, when I am wide awake at midnight with no one to talk to.

So that's why I've been blogging more at night, even when I really have nothing to blog about.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Pearl Harbor Day...the difference between then and now.

Today is a day largely remembered as when our country entered WWII. All the major wars until Desert Storm required a sense of self-sacrifice from not only the soldiers, but the rest of the country.

There was rationing, women having to take over factory jobs to fill in for the men that were sent overseas, and there was a draft.

These wars we have been fighting for ten years has been a much different story.

People want to pretend that they support the troops, but do they? What have you sacrificed for the Iraq and Afghanistan war efforts?

Do you know that this is the longest war in history? Do you realize these soldiers come home after it has been drilled in to their heads that the enemy could be anyone?

My husband can't drive anymore. Not safely. Anytime he sees a suspicious package alongside the road, he begins to have panic attacks. A blown out tire is even worse, since he was almost killed by one that he picked up, and attached was an IED and grenade. It started to activate, and he ran with it, to spare the lives of his men. It stopped one click from detonating.

Unless you live with a soldier, or have one as a child, you understand how frustrating it is to listen to people with their petty problems, while you wait by the phone for a year at a time, hoping you won't get a bad call. You take your cell phone to the toilet with you, in fear you will miss a chance to hear their voice. You have been on the phone with them when the line goes dead after hearing explosions, and don't know what just happened.

These soldiers in today's military deploy at a rapid pace. I know many who have deployed five times, every other year. How do you bond with your children when you miss half their lives?

I am just saying that take the time out of your day EVERY day to thank a veteran or a soldier. And don't forget their families, for the heartbreaking trials they also endure in support of our you can sleep safely in your bed.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

When you are sexy enough, you can admit to being a dork about some things...

I spent my entire weekend watching all 8 Harry Potter movies, even though I had seen all but the last one.

Why did this occur?

Because my sons and husband didn't listen to over the last ten years and watch them before, so in order for me to feel completed with an ending, I was forced to start them over.

That's a lot of wizardry to take in.

My husband finds it highly amusing that I keep tabs on a blog with details about The Hobbit prequel that is in production. And I also have actual artist productions of a full sized Yoda and Chewy head.

I don't have to apologize for the fact I love Lord of The Rings and Star Wars.

I paid my dues as a dork when I was a young kid, getting teased for being flat-chested and having a mullet.

Now I am old enough to embrace the side of me that loves expensive purses and accessories, yet can still appreciate real paper books, not this Kindle crap.

Despite my nerdish obsessions, I am a very well rounded individual who can hold an intelligent conversation on world events, politics and religion, but I am confident enough to be able to make ridiculous jokes, even if they are at my expense.

One of my sons is a dork, and I love it. One day, he will be a very rich man who all the popular kids will end up working for. He is not afraid to be who he is, and for an almost 13 year old, that's pretty damn impressive.

So get out there and let that inner dork out, and own it!

Army life, Army wife...not for long!

Well, we have officially moved in to the MEB process of being medically retired from the army.

It fucken sucks.

It seems that paperwork is the army's kryptonite. They can't put things together And use simple time management skills unless it involves guns or large machinery.

The horrible part is trying to deal with the disjointed medical staff, who don't really care about the soldiers they are out processing. I'm sure the tables will turn if they ever have to experience waiting for a year with no job to do, in order to find out if someone screwed them over by leaving something out of the medical records.

I highly advise all spouses to be directly involved with their soldiers MEB and PEB processing, as well as all the ACAP meetings. Your husband will miss 70% of the info given, and then come home and leave it out.

I would also like to say that while there are plenty of pogues who use mental disorders to get out, there are soldiers who desperately need the help, and it's time to stop treating them like they are less of a man because they sought treatment. Do it before it ruins your life, because at some point, it WILL catch up with you.

First and foremost, put your health and your family first, because you will need their love and support when making a transition like this.

If any of you have questions about the process, feel free to email me.
Ive got your back!