Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I've decided....(it will never end)

...that I will continue my trend of buying my own Christmas presents this year. It prevents a morning full of guilt for wanting to choke out your husband because after X amount of years, he still doesn't know you at all.

...that boxed wine, contrary to some new opinions from wine enthusiasts, still tastes like urine. Or what I imagine urine would taste like. I will stick to the stuff that has a cork.

...that there are a lot of people who care too much about the Kardashians. Did any of you REALLY think it was going to work any more than Kim Zolciak's marriage will? The guys are normal. They don't stand a chance with those chicks.

...that I will never stop trying stupid things just to see if I can do them. This includes a high kick, beat-boxing, and trying to rap all the words in Gangsta's Paradise.

...Newt Gingrich? Really? This is the best hope of the white world? If that's the route we are going, I recommend just letting people tweet in their budget plans to Bravo, and then Andy Cohen can hold a texting vote. If you wanted Bill Clinton impeached for being adulterous, then you really can't nominate this dude.

...cats are Satan's minions. They hold grudges and exact revenge while you are sleeping. I admire, yet loathe it. Smarter than kids are.

...starting an impromptu sing-along in real life is not as easy as it appears on tv. Having no one else join in and having to awkwardly fade off in to silence is an experience I could've lived without. I misread a moment.

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way about Newt, and all of the nominees from the "right." I say we send an extreme couponer to DC to set all of the politicians straight.