I left Sunday morning at 6am.
When I drove over the border into PA, I was instantly greeted with sunlight. Leaving NY behind was literally having clouds lift.
And the angels sang.
Maybe that was Rhianna.
Anyway, I drove to Des Moines, Iowa yesterday.
I would like to report that in Ohio, there is a "Fangboner Road".
I gleefully chuckled like a 12 year old, and wondered if it was some kind of Twilight throwback.
In Illinois, somewhere past Chicago, I was happily surprised that I have RuPaul's "You better work it!" on my iPod. I had visions of digging out one of my scarves and letting it fly out my sunroof, like the movie "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
In Iowa, I was horrified and perplexed at a chain of convenience stores called, "Kum and Go".
Ew. Really??? It made eating my yogurt parfait very difficult that night. Like a specimen in a cup.
In Nebraska, I felt like I was a black person. Those are the whitest folks I've ever seen. And my skin color is only one shade above death. I rolled into a gas station, only to have everyone stop and gawk as I blared my Tupac. It was about as redneck as Mississippi.
And really long and boring. But fairly warm, until suddenly the wind picked up and clouds covered the sky, and then I became paranoid of tornados springing up.
Finally, I made it to Wyoming, where I am tonight...and it snowed the whole damn state. But it's really pretty, even if it puts my car at risk of sliding off a sharp curve due to ice. And as soon as I'm done typing this, I have to google Continental Divide, because I forget what that is, but drove through it today.
Tomorrow is Cali or bust, because I'm sick of driving.
New York to CA in 3 days.
I am the bomb.