Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Misery loves children

I had the perfect excuse to not attend my company Christmas party this year. It's not that I hate parties. It's that I would rather not get bedazzled, wear painful heels and tights and stay at home to watch tv.

It's my Saturday, after all.

My dad gets in to town this weekend. He's moving in with us to help out since I am dealing with the commute from hell. So I figured, not having childcare would be an excellent excuse.

However, the company is including free childcare for the duration of the event in an adjacent hotel. Which probably means a hotel room full of miserable little kids, wanting their mom or dad...and to go to bed, since the party is 7-midnight.

All in all, an event my kids would loathe, since they're too old for a babysitter, but too young to stay alone overnight. Most likely, it would consist of hate texts from my kids buzzing my phone every ten minutes, making threats like, "I am going to just walk out the door if you don't come get me NOW!!!"

My boss tried to get me on board by saying his kids aren't too far off in age, but I explained that my kids only agree to pretend to be good kids when they're bribed, and even that can be unreliable, especially at night.

(I don't pretend that my children are truly as good as the image they portray in public. And when they are, it can definitely be traced to some sort of incentive plan.)

Finally, I gave up and booked the $200 hotel room since its in the city.

A friend of mine is considering starting her family this year, but finds myself and her sister detractors from having children. I have mixed feelings on the subject myself, but I've made my bed and now have to lie in it. I feel like there is about 5 years when kids are enjoyable. Once they're old enough to get themselves a bowl of cereal and quietly watch tv on weekends, until they are bubbling voids of evil teenage hormones.

They're really only nice about 15% of the time after that, and mostly when they have an ulterior motive.

But the question of whether or not to have them comes down to the question of whether or not you want to be alone when you get old. My husband will surely die before me, so I would like to have visitors in the nursing home.

I don't think that having kids is bad. It's just another relationship to maintain, while the other person hates you for about 4-6 years until they grow. If you can deal with that, go forth and procreate!

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