The Deed is Done...and I was a big sissy

Okay, okay...everyone was right. IT WASN'T THAT BAD!

I had my wisdom teeth pulled Saturday morning. I was pretty calm and under control. It was reminiscent of the tummy tuck since they had to give me an IV to knock me out, although I didn't have oxygen during the tummy tuck. I really expected to look like holy hell afterwards, since Andy did...but I woke up pretty nicely and slept on the way to Target to get my meds filled. I planned on waiting in the car, but I felt fine enough to go inside, so we grabbed some yummy soft things to eat while we waited. I fell asleep on the way home and then when i got home, I fell asleep for a while. But I was up around 2pm, ready to eat something. Now it's Monday at lunchtime and I really don't have too much pain....I didn't the whole time. So I guess I was a wreck for nothing. My cheeks didn't even swell up. I don't look like anything even happened.

Unfortunately, the kids ended up getting today off because it's -22 degrees. That's not even that cold, so I don't understand what the deal is? It started as a two hour delay,which was fine with me since I'm off today and tomorrow and I could sleep later before getting them off for school. But then they canceled it altogether. Now I have to decide if I am going to keep Andy company tonight for the "MANDATORY" FRG meeting. They make it mandatory every time, but so far, its only like 10 people and us that get suckered in to believing that. I try to tell Andy that no one else believes it's mandatory but he insists we have to go. So I am going to end up having to go again tonight, which sucks because Andy only has 4 more weeks of work until he leaves for recruiting school, and when he comes back, we will be clearing post to get ready to PCS (move, get the hell out of dodge, etc...) So I don't know why we have to go find out what will be happening in the unit, since we won't be here. But that's the way it is, and Andy always gets suckered in.

My weekend mostly consisted of trying to decide how to work some new aspects in to my blog (when I wasn't snoozing happily or picking stuff out of the giant holes in my mouth because I am afraid of getting infections.) As you might or might not notice, I added two pages. "Glamorous and Girly" is where I am going to hide away any discussions we have about marriage and sex, fashion and other stuff that we like to talk about. "Extracurricular Trouble" is about travel, events, etc...If you have an awesome trip and want to guest blog about it, let me know!

Other guest blog topics I would like to cover:
Sex and the Single Girl
Top 5 Things I Can't Live Without
The View from the Mother of a Soldier, Sister of a Soldier, Girlfriend of a Soldier
Questions from the New Girl on Post
Bachelorette Party Ideas

If you would like to contribute a guest post on the topics above or you have another idea, let me know.
Keri525@yahoo.com

Deployment-Part 3- Welcome Home!

When you get to the end of the deployment, many things start to happen. You may have forgotten what it feels like to be kissed or hugged. You may get very nervous about reuniting with your spouse. You may even feel like a different person. YOU ARE. You may have just spent a year of your life as a single mother. You should be proud of yourself for the accomplishment you have just made. It’s not easy when your kids cry that they miss their daddy, or when they are so used to him being gone that they don’t even ask about him. Either way, it breaks your heart.

You should find out from your FRG group or husband when to expect him home, and what activities the unit is planning. His flight home will change 8 times before it’s right, and you need to keep getting updates up to the minute, because it can be adjusted right up to the end. You definitely don’t want him getting in early, only to not have you there. Don’t post this info on your Facebook page…you are advertising to potential terrorists a target.

You will have to decide whether or not to take the kids or other family members. I have chosen to take my kids once, and go alone once. Neither time, did I allow any other family members to be present. You need time to adjust to your entire family again, and so does he. Expect to have a great night’s sleep..because you haven’t in the past year.

Your spouse will be briefed on all kinds of things when he gets home, and just prior to leaving. They discuss how stressful it is after the “honeymoon” phase is over and how to smoothly re-integrate in to the family. Keep in mind that while you may have changed something while he was gone, you have to let him know what to expect. It would be scary to come home after a year and find nothing the same. While your soldier is proud of you for being a strong army wife, he also needs to know that you still need him. Find ways to incorporate him back in to the fold, such as cooking together. Andy is not, by ANY means, a cook, nor has he ever been. But since he’s been back in July, I ask for his help preparing meals. It’s something we can do together, he can feel like he’s helping, and it’s more quality time that staring at the tv all night.

The bottom line is…give it time! Things may be perfect, or they may need some fine tuning. Andy’s first deployment made me realize how much I love him and how much I WANT to be married to him. We both learned to appreciate what we have together, and we have a chance to miss each other. Sometimes instead of hating what the army takes away from us, we have to respect what it gives us in turn. It’s all what you make of it.








I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!

Deployment-Part 2- Adjusting to life on your own

As I said in Part 1, I moved home to live with my parents during our first deployment. If you have thoughts about moving in with your family or even a friend, be forewarned…any drama they have in their lives WILL spill over in to yours. Do you need even more stress? Do you get along with this person even when you are in bad moods? These are valid questions to ask yourself. Don’t let people talk you in to doing something you are unsure of. A year is a long time to be stuck somewhere. The second deployment, I stayed put, although this is when my dad moved in with me, which, as you will read, was a darn good thing. I had help when I needed it, but he stayed out of the way when I didn’t. Plus, it was my house and my terms, which helped the control-freak that I am.

Communication: Make sure you and your spouse are prepared for the fact that you might be able to talk daily, or not for weeks at a time. It can make you a little crazy when you don’t know if he is okay, but you need to stay calm and remember that no news is good news. I guarantee you that he is more upset at not being able to reach you. He’s in the desert..not out bar-hopping. Chances are, he will have the opportunity to get in far less trouble than you would….not that you would. But you have to remember he will hear all kinds of stories about what is happening back home, as will you, and this may cause some tension. Cell phones are a bad idea and very dangerous. Use this as a time to get to know each other again. You are going to be doing a lot of talking, so you might discover some things you didn’t know. We paid about $60 a month for Andy to have internet in his “room” and we talked on Yahoo IM webcam every night about 10pm. Another source is Skype. This was a nice option because then we could see each other. As it can make you crazy to NOT talk to each other, it can have the same effect if you talk TOO much. You run out of things to say about your day when you have already told him the day before. And it makes time go entirely too slow. Every three days is a good rule of thumb, if he is available. Don’t ever discuss locations, etc…over the internet or the phone. Always assume that someone is listening in, and that someone might be a threat.

Speaking of threats…don’t advertise the fact you are home alone by putting a Service Star Flag on your house. A yellow ribbon is general enough to blend in, yet not announcing to be robbed or attacked. Likewise, don’t put the “Half my heart is in Iraq” bumper-stickers on your car for the same reason. We can support our soldiers in all the other things we do, but the most important thing you can do for your husband is be safe.

Have a talk with your husband about how to handle any bad news with the family or other friends while he is deployed. Does he want to know while he is gone, or wait until he comes home? We were tested with this several time. During the first deployment, I was in 4 car accidents and Taylor was hospitalized. During the second deployment, our dog killed our cat and I had to have the dog put to sleep. This was a horrific day, and had my dad not been there to shield me from seeing it, then the kids and I would have walked in to that scene after work/school. We also got news that Andy’s stepfather was terminally ill and might not make it until he redeployed home. Make sure you have the information for the Red Cross, because chances are that you might very well have to get a message to him.

The last thing, is that you want to stay as busy as possible during the deployment. Use this time to explore your interests. Is there somewhere you want to travel that he doesn’t? Go visit a girlfriend or family member. Take a class or lesson. You can also look forward to your mid-way point, which is R&R for two weeks. This will be a fun break. Ask your spouse what they want to do…don’t just plan a big party or trip. They may just want to sit on the sofa with you, and not do anything. You need to keep in mind, they may be a little jumpy. It’s not a good idea to drink too much during this break either. Have an enjoyable time with him, and when he leaves to go back, know that you are almost done!




I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!

Deployment Series-Part 1- Letting him leave

People always want to know what life is like when your husband has to go away for an entire year. It sucks, I won’t lie. We had been married for 6 years at the time of the first deployment, but we were still young and changing. The second time, I was 30 years old and married for 11 years.

I moved home to my parents with the boys before he left. I had a good job offer there, and I didn’t have any friends in Savannah other than a former coworker. Figuring that I would get to spend time with my sisters and friends that still lived there, I shoved all the concerns I had about this to the side. I love my parents…but when you live far away for 6 years and are accustomed to your own household, it’s not always easy to blend families again. I would say it highly depends on your personality. If you are more independent and you have some friends, stay on your own. If you don’t want to be stuck at your duty station by yourself, then move to where your family or friends are, but get your own apartment. You will have to pay for this move out of pocket, though, as the army won’t foot the bill without PCS(Primary Change of Station) orders.

One of the worst parts of deployments is waiting for the time to come. The last month before the deployment, you and your spouse will be on edge. It might be his first time downrange, and he might have a lot of fears that he won’t verbalize because he doesn’t want to admit it, and because he doesn’t want to scare you. I think Andy was just as worried about me being here to cope with everything as I was about him being in harms’ way. The first time Andy left, I was a little angry because it seemed like he was a bit excited to go. I didn’t understand at the time that this was what he had been training for all these years, and it IS exciting the first time. The second time was a different story, completely. He knew how much it was going to suck. You both might experience a pull-back in your emotions as the day gets closer. It’s easy to let the tension build up and have arguments, so just be aware of what is happening inside you and discuss it so that he knows you still love him.

When Andy left the first time, both sides of our families went to see him off. I didn’t know how to say no to his parents wanting to see him off, and I wasn’t sure if I would want to be alone. The truth is, you don’t want to be alone OR with anyone, other than your husband. The downside to family coming along is that when the time comes to say “See you later” (never goodbye) to your husband, you have even less time for one last hug/kiss because there is a crowd that wants to give their hugs to him. The second time he deployed, I had the kids give their hugs and kisses at home, and I drove him in. I stayed as long as I could bear, but I made plans to leave and go home to PA for the weekend. What I wanted to do, was go to bed and cry…but learning from the first time, I kept myself occupied. I made plans in advance with my friends from home and they took me out and kept me distracted. It was a much better experience. You can (and will) have your cry when you go to bed that night, but let your pals take your mind off things. It will feel odd, but it’s okay to smile, laugh and forget how much things are going to suck for a minute. But Day 0 is over and the deployment has begun.

Shameless Begging About to Commence: I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!

What I heard this week: Politics Made Me Vomit

I chose to not vote this election season. Yes, I feel guilty for not doing my civic duty, however, since I am a civil servant and an army wife, I’m pretty sure I am doing my part.

I didn’t vote mostly because I don’t like any of the candidates, and I am tired of the same bullshit. I am striking against the people who have been in office for too long/the wrong reasons, and RUINING our country. The country that my husband has put his life on the line TWICE to defend, and I am mad as hell that people who don't have the courage to serve, feel that they have the right to screw it up. I am an Independent, so I don’t vote down party lines. I tend to vote for the candidate who presents the best ideas and who doesn’t completely skeeve me out. My views are definitely more on the liberal side, however, because I am closely affiliated with the Army, I believe in a strong defense system.

I hate when people bash the "President" for all of our problems. Do you realize that the President is our Mick Jagger? He/She/It is the front man of the group, but the music can’t be made with one singer. The President is no more than the "Great and Powerful Oz". The man behind the curtain is the one we need to watch more carefully: The House and the Senate are responsible for making the decisions that govern our country. The President is extremely limited in what power he has. Our forefathers set it up this way, so that we couldn’t have a dictator. So all of the things that happened to this country in the past 10 years, did not happen because of George W. Sorry, folks.. I don’t deny that 9/11 wasn’t the scapegoat for the oil mongers wanting war. But the bottom line is that Saddam Hussein should have been eliminated when he was committing genocide against his own people…AS A HUMANITARIAN MISSION. People saving other people are not enough motivation to start a war, so they waited until there was a good reason. Watch the movie, “Wag the Dog”, and you will get my point.

Osama Bin Laden should’ve been taken out when Clinton was President but we are to blame for that because we distracted him with the whole impeachment business because he was being “Slick Willy”. Maybe if he wasn’t trying to preserve his legacy from being destroyed bc he got a BJ, he would’ve been able to focus on the briefings. I'm sure the hanky-panky wasn't going on during these meetings. Internationally, Clinton wasn't seen in a negative light. The American public looked less evolved, hysterical and immature to the rest of the world.

Bush was a moron. I give you that. But he didn’t destroy the economy. That was us being greedy and buying things we didn’t have money to pay for. It was a giant pyramid system, and we all got caught up in the bubble. The worst thing that we did was bail out the banks. I was completely against that, but there was support from both sides of the aisle because their own back pockets were being fed. I don’t think we can trust the large percentage of politicians unless we find a way to ban them from taking money from special interest groups, and setting limits on terms so that the same dynasty is not allowed to run the country.

Thank God that Christine O’Donnell was not elected. I consider myself a Christian, but this “Tea Party” is the Christian equivalent of radical Islamists. Whenever you have party factions that lean too heavily to one side or the other, you are opening a divide instead of uniting a country. I hope that we can become more of a freethinking, coexisting America that can work together instead of finding more divides. The reason for a separation of church and state, is that religion should not play a part in politics because it is an inflamatory issue and has been since it's inception. You can't choose one religion for the entire country to abide by. At the same token, the freedom of religion should not be limited by this very rule. To each his/her own...

I don’t like some of the things that Obama has done. I think he needs to put together a better health plan. But I think we need a health plan. It’s not for us now, but for us when we are old and not working. It’s for if you end up with cancer and your health insurance doesn’t cover your treatments. Instead of being distracted by his color, and saying he’s the “anti-christ”, why don’t we give the man some credit that he is at least trying to do what he said he would BEFORE he was elected, and see if we can’t work together on the details to make it work. Let’s not make business, personal. We would get so much more accomplished that way. How about setting rules that if there is a “Lame Duck” session, then our politicians get their pay lowered for wasting our money and getting nothing done? How about we vote on their pay raises as Propositions on the ballot? Let’s change the rules and see if we can’t start getting people to come together to find a better way to be a country, and get ourselves back to the superpower we once were and not this nightmare we've become.

Countdown to KP Duty

So, Andy comes home last night and tells me we are having 13-15 people over for Thanksgiving.

While this is not a new feat to tackle, I had hoped to keep our guestlist to a minimum number of single soldiers this year. I was thinking, 3 or 4. Instead, he invited ALL of the single soldiers and even a few couples. I am not a mean person, but I don't have room for all of these people. All night long, I find myself wondering "would it be wrong to make my kids, my parents or the soldiers eat in the other room?"

After I had my 5-minute freakout...I realized this is manageable. After the first several times you host large groupings of men in their late teens/early twenties and you see how much they eat, you don't feeling guilty handing out assignments as to what they can bring with them. Married couples have cooking facilities, so they are more than capable of providing some sort of side dish. Always give your husband the menu so he can relay what you are already making, dodging the awkwardness of "oh, ANOTHER jello mold!" (Okay, so no one makes jello molds anymore, but you get the idea.) Single soldiers can bring the rolls, the pies, the drinks...things that don't require cooking and that they can pick up at the store.

Another word to the wise, unless you want these people at your house for the next 24 hours, plan to eat around 1 or 2pm. Army guys have a tendency to like to drink beer, and before you know it, they are playing poker or watching football or napping while you trying to tame the carnage that is left. One New Years Eve, we had invited a couple over (my first time meeting them) and not only did she leave her drunk husband at my house for the night....she came back the next day with bags full of groceries, let herself in, cooked breakfast in MY kitchen while I was asleep, and proceeded to stay the entire next day until about 10pm!!! She didn't even bring her husband a change of clothes! I will never invite these people over again because I don't know if they will ever leave.

Buy yourself a bottle of wine and save it for after the dishes. Or better yet, put your feet up and enjoy a glass while your husband leads the platoon in KP duty.