Jeez...I leave you guys alone for a few weeks, and you all leave me!

Sorry I haven't been posting, but my life has not been a box of chocolates.

Not that there is too much bad, just BUSY.

All that being said, I heart my job. NetSuite is an amazing company. Everyone is hilarious and we have a great team there. With all that's bad in the country, the San Francisco Bay area is largely flourishing. The housing market is great and there are jobs aplenty. Moving here was one of the best decisions I ever have made, and even though it wasn't easy and took an ounce of luck to come through, I'm living (partly) the dream. Or atleast as close as one can get to it.

But with all good fortune comes a little bit of negative. It's hard to feel good about yourself when people you love are struggling.

Enough about me...there's been a lot to comment on...

Firstly...YAY Obama won!!! Secondly, pot is legal in a state! Finally, someone was smart enough to start taxing the crap out of it so we can get out of this fiscal nightmare. Sadly, my horrid commute kept me from voting, but it was a great political night. I heart election cycles. And superstorms.
(I know, I have problems.)
I had a week of catastrophe on the East Coast to watch, and then election night. It's better than cable. I often wonder, living in Earthquake Hell, if I will get caught at work in a bad earthquake, or how I would get all the way home if a solar flare knocked out power. I would have to walk. A LOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG way. Andy asked if I wanted my emergency preparedness backpack in my car, and I said HELL NO. I just threw my UGGS in my trunk and a sling across the front purse. If I have to walk 60 miles, I am just doing it with as little drag as possible.

That being said, we upped our emergency preparedness kit to include a slingshot that shoots metal slugs, and a machete. (Both my ideas). I don't need a gun. I want to maim with a good ole fashioned slingshot. I was actually delighted to find it. Yes, DELIGHTED. Like a kid on Christmas, before the cruel reality about Santa was poured upon my soul.

My bet on 2012 phenomenon is solar flares knocking out the grid as a massive EMP. I was sad that I fell asleep Friday night in the middle of a Doomsday show. Did you know there has been a bunch of random earthquakes lately? I check out the USGS Earthquake Map from time to time. I like to keep an eye on Yellowstone, especially now that I live in the kill radius. It would be just my luck.

Today I was pissed when all NPR had to talk about on my commute, was David Petraeus's affair. And then I looked on Yahoo, and they had his wife's agonizing picture plastered there.

HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA LOOK????? Her husband's affair was just announced as top news, and she probably had little to no idea it was going on. LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

Why do men fuck up and then the media want to see how the woman handles it? What are you hoping for? That she'll lose it and beat him down with a baseball bat in front of your camera's? Aside from Betty Broderick, most of us handle indignities that are thrust upon us in private. If I am gonna beat down my husband for being a giant ass, I am gonna do it in private, leaving no visable marks, and then laugh as I retell the fear in his eyes as he was being mauled.

Hmmm...why does it sound like I may have done that before???

Anyhow, I am sick of men being idiots. Just because you have a penis, doesn't give you license to keep acting like a teenager. You can't fuck up everyone's life because you were weak. Women don't have time to be weak, much like they don't have time to be sick or get a decent night's sleep. We grow a pair of balls (suspectedly, the ones our mates are lacking) and do what is expected of us. We let go of the dream of being the supermodel next to the rich guy and expensive car long ago. Probably when we met you...our husbands. So it's time men realize they will never BE the rich guy in the picture. You're stuck with us. And if you don't stop being asses, we will continue to not have sex with you, because who wants to fuck a whiner?

Now, I am an asshole, and there are days I have much compassion for my husbands ailments. Yeah, it sucks your brain is distorted, you have to take a pharmacy's worth of pills, and have hearing aids at 34. I understand depression very well, since I've been depressed for probably half my adult life. But grow the fuck up and pitch in! You have it pretty damn good from where I am standing. It's not the hearing aids keeping me from putting out. It's the fact you constantly look like you've been beat. And thats just sad, not sexy.

Marriage is a form of punishment. I highly do NOT recommend it for anyone that wants to be carefree and happy. Any chance of that goes away the minute you fall in love. And if you're married and not happy, DON'T HAVE KIDS. All they do is trap your ass in. People who don't have kids and hear me say this look at me like there is something wrong with me. And then they have kids and are like, "oh". I was young, and carefree and happy once. And I was thin and sexy. And then it all went to shit when I got married because I had to be the grownup.

However...

Life is what you make it. If your life sucks, maybe try something different. Like caring. Like getting up out of bed and doing something. Like take the spray nozzle in the kitchen sink and drench your wife with it while she does dishes. It's completely unexpected, and will probably make her chase you down laughing, and when she does...that's when you try to get her naked. Be inventive. My life has sucked ass. I have a friend whose husband died, and is she giving up? No. She's living her life to the fullest because she understands that its too short.

Whatever your ailment...don't give up hope. Happiness comes in short dribbles, just long enough to make you realize what you do have. And how miserable you would be without it.