Why is fat any more disgusting than malnourished?

I'm really pretty irritated. My sister told me about an article she had read about a news anchor that received a letter, berating her for being over-weight. Here is a part of the letter: ""Hi, Jennifer," she read. "It's unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical conniption hasn't improved for many years. Surely you don't consider yourself a suitable example for this community's young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you'll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle." She didn't identify the writer of the email, saying only that she received it on Friday from a La Crosse Man, and that the subject was "Community Responsibility." "Yes, the truth is, I am overweight," Livingston responded as the cameras rolled. "You could call me fat and, yes, even obese on a doctor's chart. But to the person who wrote me that letter, do you think I don't know that?" "You don't know me. You are not a friend of mine. You are not a part of my family, and you have admitted that you don't watch this show," she continued. "So you know nothing about me, but what you see on the outside. And I am much more than a number on a scale." What I don't understand, is why it's so disgusting to be thicker around the middle, yet young girls are starving themselves to try to compete with the malnourished, self-obsessed models we see in magazine and television. Do you remember Candace Cameron from "Full House"? I met her once, and was shocked at how skinny she was in real life. Yet she looked chubby while on the show. So to actually LOOK skinny in print or magazines, you have to be thin enough to kick in half. There are pros to being heavier. For one, we don't show wrinkles, so we look a lot younger than we are. We have less risk of having bone density issues, because we drink our milk. And we're more durable. If the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I can live off of my fat stores for a year, no problem. If you're skinny, you're screwed. If you are overweight in some Asian countries, you are considered very wealthy. Now, that all being said, people who struggle with weight have a huge battle in front of them. It's so hard to work continuously to try to lose and maintain weight loss, especially when we women work 40+ hour work weeks and then have husbands who don't do their 50% of the housework and child-raising. Most of us don't have a chance to sit down and relax for the night until 9pm...AND THEN YOU WANT US TO EXERCISE TOO???? Suck a fat one. How about that? If I had time to only devote on weight loss, a professional chef/dietitian and energy...sure I could lose weight. But then I would need to continue it for the rest of my life, which is impossible, because LIFE happens, needs change and stress consumes us. Being fat doesn't mean you're unhealthy or out of shape physically either. I out-weigh my husband by about 60 lbs, but I have more stamina and healthy cholesterol and blood pressure, whereas he does not. I am also strong as a damn ox, so for my own protection, I actually like being able to take care of myself, because the mugger who comes after me will get their asses handed to them. Instead of worrying about how other people look, take a good look at yourself. Chances are, if you were on television, people would have some scathing commentary to offer you too, because there are always assholes out there, just looking to be mean.

Calling in fat today...

I am really glad I work from home.

Somewhere between March and June, I gained like 50 lbs. Which really sucks because I had lost that much and bought a bunch of skinny clothes that are now mocking me from my closet down the hall.

I hear them. It grates on my self-image. I feel disgusting for the first time since my tummy tuck a few years ago.

I can't win some days. I try to quit everything that I like. Smoking, eating, anti-anxiety medication. And it doesn't work, because I don't really want to quit.

And everyone feels the need when I bitch about my weight, to explain to me like I'm half-retarded, that I need to exercise.

Huh?

What?

X-ER-SIZE? What does that mean?
I dont care if you are my bff or my mother...if you tell me I need to exercise and watch what I eat, like I've been living in a cave and had no exposure to "healthy living" ideas and that bullshit food pyramid, I WILL bitch-slap you.

I know I am supposed to exercise. I just don't feel like it. Maybe you don't know, because you've never been fat, but the fatter you get, the HARDER IT IS to move. It's exercise for me to walk up a flight of stairs. And I am not even like, hugely fat.

And you think you have company in misery, and then everyone you know who was reliably fat with you goes and gets digestive surgery and loses all the weight.

It really pisses me off. Don't leave me in fatness alone! That means if I am fatter than someone who has ALWAYS been fat, then its like being picked last in gym class, and I have to exercise. Which means I have to quit smoking so I don't fall over when I lose my breath in five minutes.

Everything I knew to be true, was a LIE.

I think we have only spent 5 weekends home since Andy came back from Iraq with no company since July. So we are going to Turning Stone Casino near Syracuse, NY for New Years Eve to have some “alone time”, which is sorely needed. We are leaving tonight, and all week, I have been like a crack addict jonesing for her next fix! I love-love-love gambling!!! I have dreams a week before we go to a casino that I am going to win big, and then it never happens. You would think I'd learn by now, but I can't stop myself from getting excited.

It’s been a mixed bag, this year and I have held up pretty well considering. Finances are the only thing I really didn't stress out much about, and it's usually the #1 thing that makes me lose sleep. But this year, I had a great opportunity to pay off a lot of debt, which took a lot of stress off my shoulders, especially since we are moving in 6 more months.

My New Years Resolutions:

1. To go to bed earlier. I keep myself awake on weeknights so I can watch tv, like a child who is afraid they will miss something. I am going to invoke my right to DVR, and get those much needed extra Z’s. I will even fall asleep with the tv on, saying I'm "listening" to the show, even though I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

2. To finally quit smoking. I have made several haphazard attempts to quit smoking for the past 3 years, but this time I will do it for good. I will miss it, but I won’t. I think that's why I have been unsuccessful at quitting. To understand how you can love it and hate it, you have to have been a smoker.

3. To lose 50 lbs. I can be okay with not being a size 6, but I need to get the 50 off to keep me healthy and more fit. I fell off the diet-wagon this month, and gained back 10 lbs that I had lost. Now I am paying for it by having to go through the stomach shrinking week all over again! I have to wear a bathing suit in 2 months, people! It's bad enough that the St. Lucian's will have to see my pasty, white skin, but I need to trim a few lbs off too.

I'm afraid my list isn't very original or exciting. But it's relatable, since most people I know have the same things on their lists.
Good luck to everyone in making their resolutions happen, and I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!