I am really glad I work from home.
Somewhere between March and June, I gained like 50 lbs. Which really sucks because I had lost that much and bought a bunch of skinny clothes that are now mocking me from my closet down the hall.
I hear them. It grates on my self-image. I feel disgusting for the first time since my tummy tuck a few years ago.
I can't win some days. I try to quit everything that I like. Smoking, eating, anti-anxiety medication. And it doesn't work, because I don't really want to quit.
And everyone feels the need when I bitch about my weight, to explain to me like I'm half-retarded, that I need to exercise.
X-ER-SIZE? What does that mean?
I dont care if you are my bff or my mother...if you tell me I need to exercise and watch what I eat, like I've been living in a cave and had no exposure to "healthy living" ideas and that bullshit food pyramid, I WILL bitch-slap you.
I know I am supposed to exercise. I just don't feel like it. Maybe you don't know, because you've never been fat, but the fatter you get, the HARDER IT IS to move. It's exercise for me to walk up a flight of stairs. And I am not even like, hugely fat.
And you think you have company in misery, and then everyone you know who was reliably fat with you goes and gets digestive surgery and loses all the weight.
It really pisses me off. Don't leave me in fatness alone! That means if I am fatter than someone who has ALWAYS been fat, then its like being picked last in gym class, and I have to exercise. Which means I have to quit smoking so I don't fall over when I lose my breath in five minutes.
Everything I knew to be true, was a LIE.