Friday, June 15, 2012

A mothers responsibility...

Today, I would like to talk about rape.

As a mother of two sons, though still young, I recently had a discussion with them about how to treat women.

You always open doors, pay for dates, are honest and never cheat.

And when you are being intimate, if a girl says no or stop, you stop. You don't pressure, you don't give guilt trips and you don't violate her boundaries.

Many women are raped, whether it's an attack by a stranger or date rape. I was raped at 13. To this day, only a handful of people know because at the time, I was young and scared, and didn't want the police involved. I also felt guilt, because I put myself in a bad situation. So I thought it was my fault.

Now, as the mother of a 13 year old, I realize how unprepared I was, and should have never blamed myself. It affected me for years after, when it came to dating. I felt sick any time a boy wanted to date me or kiss me. I was scared.

Rape is rarely reported. I know this first hand because I know several people that were date raped.

To my sisters who did report their rape, I am proud of you. You were stronger than I was. And you are brave.

To all women, no matter the age...
Never go out alone at night. Be aware of your surroundings. Take a self-defense class, because you can't always get to a gun or gazer, and pepper spray expires very quickly or malfunctions. In self-defense, they can teach you how to get out of any hold you may be put in.

If you are raped, don't bathe. Go to the hospital and call police. Ignore the media coverage because people are insensitive. Go through therapy to make sure you regain your sense of security.

To mothers of sons...teach your children well. Have that discussion with them to put women on a pedestal and treat them respectfully. We are responsible for installing rights and wrongs.


  1. This are great tips, and I appreciate you teaching your boys how to treat women. Your children, in theory, are the boys who will be taking my girls out. I'm glad to know there are a few out there who will know how to treat my daughters! I have talked to my girls about good touch and bad touch, and now that my oldest is getting close to 12 it's time to start talking about saying no and meaning it, not leading boys on, and what to do if things do go too far. It's not something I want to think about, but I've been through the whole date rape thing myself. Parenting isn't easy, but it's posts like these that let us know we are not alone and together we can build a better world for the future generation. Thank you for sharing this!

  2. you are brave to write this and bold to teach your boys. thank you... as the mother of two daughters who were sexually abused before we adopted them- thank you!