Moments of an Awkward Youth Part 3

 “I don’t know what was going through my mind at the time.” I can randomly apply this phrase to just about some event, every year of my life.

For me, 6^th grade became the Ground Zero ashes from which the rest of my life rose. There could be no getting lower. There I was, with my butch hair and my stone-washed jeans with holes in the knees. Not exactly popularity material. Dressing was also not one of my strong-suits. It was very popular back then, to wear your sweatshirt inside out. But me, coming so close, yet so far away, wore a white Toys R Us sweatshirt to school, thinking I would look cool. Unfortunately, the “I’m a Toys R Us kid” phrase was clearly visable on the front side of the shirt, making me look nothing but ridiculous. (My best friends STILL TO THIS DAY BRING THIS UP.) I blame my mother, of course, for buying me the damn shirt in the first place.

I always wanted to be something more than what I was. I definitely had dreams of becoming famous, and as it turns out, the name “Keri” wasn’t going to cut it for me. And so I informed my best friend in a note, that I was changing my name to “TT” which was short for Tori. I have a need to stop here and explain that 90210 had just started, so I loved it. As I tried to pass it to her, our teacher intercepted it and not only did he read it to the class, make me write it on the chalkboard, but he also posted it in the hall on the bulletin board so the other kids could read it! This is how I KNOW that teachers are fully aware of bullying, and sometimes condone and begin it.

Another way I know, is because there were these 3 guys that were the cool guys and they called themselves, “The Brothers”. One of them used to tease my best friends and I mercilessly on the school bus. He used to stand in front of the teacher and punch me right in the face! There was also an incident in gym class that involved about 30 dodgeballs and the whole class, but I’m still sensitive about that.  Now I was a moron, and didn’t know how to fight back then, but I saw this douche bag at a friends wedding a few years ago, and it took all I could to not follow him in to the men’s room and kick his ass!!! But karma came around and took care of him in high school. He was ugly and no longer cool enough to be a “brother”, so he was left in obscurity where no one we graduated with probably even remembers he existed.

As it turned out, Keri turned out to be a completely appropriate name for a female celebrity, and that’s why I can’t to this day, watch a movie with Keri Russell in it. She stole my impending fame and she was a Mouseketeer, which was what I wanted to be more than anything. Fuck Felicity.

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