Change is a comin...

I had really super great news today, but I can't talk about it yet. Seems to be the theme lately, but I don't want to jinx anything. I was finally able to get some action on my car accident. I had to call the cops to report it, and they were able to push the guy in to giving up his insurance info. So hopefully next week they can fix it, and I owe nothing. I got lucky. When you get in a car accident, call the cops. I thought that was only necessary when people were injured. I probably would've if I wasn't on a quick break from work. But it's hard to get away from my desk when my boss would sit in my lap if she could. The less amount of jobs we have to fill, the more desperation seeps out. I think we're going to Vegas for Christmas. I know, it just seems wrong to celebrate the birth of Christ by going to a place deemed, "Sin City", but our options for travel are pretty much limited to CA, and Disneyland will be a zoo and it's too cold to enjoy a beach vacation, even in southern CA. On Christmas itself, I think we will go do the Grand Canyon trip and the Hoover Dam. Make it educational. For the day, anyway. And I really want to go to a few shows there. So, on another note... Wednesday nights, I love to watch the H2 channel because they have great shows on the universe. But I laugh when I watch them try to explain everything through algebra. Basic algebra, I get. I see how you can explain some things. But to explain how large the universe is by saying 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 7 seems like a bunch of bullshit to me. What the hell does that even mean??? I wish scientists would stop putting all this random crap out there and prove something, instead of speculating and making it seem like fact. It's not like they're never wrong about things... Like, what the hell happened to Pluto being a planet??? It's there and it's a solid body, so it's a planet to me. And if a planet has 16 moons, why aren't those moons planets? And all of a sudden Betsy Ross didn't make the first american flag. The first one was the one hung over Ft McHenry in Baltimore when Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner". So now, the Big Bang Theory is being debunked, which is fine with me because I didn't buy that anyway. You can't get something out of nothing. I think that it was a black hole that imploded and then exploded. And no, I am not against "Creationists"...no matter what happened, and how it happened, I believe God/Goddess had a hand in it. (Side note: No, I am not a physicist, scientist or anything that comes with a certification. But I am a theorist and philosopher, just based off common sense.) And on yet another note, my kid got beat up for smack talking, and then came home, got changed and went back for a rematch. LOL. What an idiot. This kid has gotten hit like 4 times since we moved here. And he never fights back, which both relieves and irritates me at the same time. I want him to stop talking smack, but if someone hits him, I want him to defend himself. But the first time he does, I bet the cops are called, and I don't need anymore cops in my life. EVER. And I have never been arrested! And my final thought is....the Giants are going to the play-offs...I wonder if they end up playing the Oakland A's, if we're going to have a gigantic earthquake like they did the last time that happened? 2012!

Made out like a bandit in the night...

I am a flea-market ninja. On Saturday, we went to this flea market in Cupertino. It's pretty huge, and they do it once a month. I picked up 4 books. Two were first editions that are worth about $100-250/a piece, and I got them all for $5/ a piece. I also got an autographed copy of one of J. Edgar Hoover's books that is worth at least $100. I also got a cute vacation purse for $10, a NARS eyeshadow palette that sells for $45 for $12, and two collectibles...one is a copper ship from the 1920's like my great-grandma had..it's a music box. The other is a 1960s ceramic music box, and it's of Lombard Street, and you pull the trolley down which turns on the music, and as it plays, it pulls the trolley car up the street. Really cute. I also bought two hats. One is from the 1920's...looks british. And the other is really cute too. Both for $10/a piece. I like hats and am starting to become obsessed. Andy has continued his bartering ordeal, picking up two Citizen men's watches and a 6800 watt generator. This is the second generator we now have, so if the grid goes out, at least our food won't go bad. lol. I am expecting a big change to come my way this week. I will talk more about it next week or over the weekend, but "mums the word" for right now. And FINALLY, the weather has begun to change, which means that at least for the next week, NO AIR CONDITIONING!!!!! YAY for my electric bill, which is ridiculous. I see why so many people go solar out here. Makes complete sense, and once we buy our house, I plan to do the same. Good for the planet...good for my budget!

Car accidents; Why not to trust people

So last Monday, I got in a car accident. While I was approaching an upcoming red light, an SUV tried to swerve around me, and I didn't let him in front of me. So he ended up directly behind me at the red light. All of a sudden, "BAM", he hits the back of my car, and we were at a dead stop!!! I am pretty sure at this point, something along the lines of, "You have GOT to be Fucking KIDDING me!" came out of my mouth. I had to get back home to work, and so I was in a hurry, no one was injured, so I didn't see the need to get the cops called. The guy didn't have an insurance card with him, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, I took the rest of his contact info and vehicle info. The estimate came in higher than the deductible, so this guy says he can fix it on his own for cheaper. Every day, he emails us and makes excuses, and finally we asked for all his insurance info because he said he already called his insurance company and we would be hearing from him, and yet he won't give us the insurance info. So I had to file a claim this morning since this dude has wasted two weeks of our time, and his response was, "Good luck proving I caused the accident. My wife was in the car, and you put your car in reverse and hit us." Seriously? You're a moron, and here is why... 1. We have two weeks worth of texts which clearly you accept responsibility for the accident being your fault in writing. 2. There is a camera at that intersection. 3. Your wife was NOT in the car with you, so keep purgering yourself. Why are people so dumb??? He's gonna have fun when it comes back that he has no insurance and then I get to call the cops. RETARDS. And I include myself in that, because it was retarded for me to not just file a claim in the first place and call the cops. Lesson learned.

Why is fat any more disgusting than malnourished?

I'm really pretty irritated. My sister told me about an article she had read about a news anchor that received a letter, berating her for being over-weight. Here is a part of the letter: ""Hi, Jennifer," she read. "It's unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical conniption hasn't improved for many years. Surely you don't consider yourself a suitable example for this community's young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you'll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle." She didn't identify the writer of the email, saying only that she received it on Friday from a La Crosse Man, and that the subject was "Community Responsibility." "Yes, the truth is, I am overweight," Livingston responded as the cameras rolled. "You could call me fat and, yes, even obese on a doctor's chart. But to the person who wrote me that letter, do you think I don't know that?" "You don't know me. You are not a friend of mine. You are not a part of my family, and you have admitted that you don't watch this show," she continued. "So you know nothing about me, but what you see on the outside. And I am much more than a number on a scale." What I don't understand, is why it's so disgusting to be thicker around the middle, yet young girls are starving themselves to try to compete with the malnourished, self-obsessed models we see in magazine and television. Do you remember Candace Cameron from "Full House"? I met her once, and was shocked at how skinny she was in real life. Yet she looked chubby while on the show. So to actually LOOK skinny in print or magazines, you have to be thin enough to kick in half. There are pros to being heavier. For one, we don't show wrinkles, so we look a lot younger than we are. We have less risk of having bone density issues, because we drink our milk. And we're more durable. If the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I can live off of my fat stores for a year, no problem. If you're skinny, you're screwed. If you are overweight in some Asian countries, you are considered very wealthy. Now, that all being said, people who struggle with weight have a huge battle in front of them. It's so hard to work continuously to try to lose and maintain weight loss, especially when we women work 40+ hour work weeks and then have husbands who don't do their 50% of the housework and child-raising. Most of us don't have a chance to sit down and relax for the night until 9pm...AND THEN YOU WANT US TO EXERCISE TOO???? Suck a fat one. How about that? If I had time to only devote on weight loss, a professional chef/dietitian and energy...sure I could lose weight. But then I would need to continue it for the rest of my life, which is impossible, because LIFE happens, needs change and stress consumes us. Being fat doesn't mean you're unhealthy or out of shape physically either. I out-weigh my husband by about 60 lbs, but I have more stamina and healthy cholesterol and blood pressure, whereas he does not. I am also strong as a damn ox, so for my own protection, I actually like being able to take care of myself, because the mugger who comes after me will get their asses handed to them. Instead of worrying about how other people look, take a good look at yourself. Chances are, if you were on television, people would have some scathing commentary to offer you too, because there are always assholes out there, just looking to be mean.

Right now...

Inwardly, I am rather inpatient to have this day over so that I can get some answers on pressing matters in my life. Outwardly, I'm quiet and pensive, which usually indicates stress. Why do I feel like every month that passes, there is a growing shadow? It's on my mind when I'm not even directly thinking about it. It's always there, lurking like an animal that's about to strike. I feel unprepared for whatever it is. But I've learned you can only prepare for the things you can anticipate. The unknowns are a lot harder to be ready for. I wouldn't say I am psychic, but I have a very accurate inner alarm that goes off right before something big is supposed to happen. It's like a balloon in my chest that keeps inflating until I feel smothered. It's a general feeling of intense anxiety, making the only way for me to truly ignore it is by occupying my mind with something that requires focus. Usually when I feel this much of it, it's imminent...within 24 hours. Maybe I will try to meditate. I watched a show last night that meditating and saying the word, "Peace" actually makes physiological changes in your body chemisty. I don't know when I started letting stress get to me. Oh, maybe I do. When I lived in GA. A mixture of friend stress and work stress. And both ended up being bad in the end. When I moved out to CA, the first two months were pretty awesome. I really didn't need anxiety meds, and I felt content. Now something is moving in, like a storm. I feel it so strongly that it's more than just something that will affect my life, but rather everyone in some way, or lots of people. I hope I am wrong, but whatever it is, is going to change some things. BIG TIME.

Ancient Aliens

Maybe it's because it's 2012, and I secretly want the world to turn in to utter chaos so I don't have to work anymore, but I spent the latter part of Friday night watching that "Ancient Aliens" show on H2, and it's facinating. When you match up all of the documentation left by cave drawings, religious accounts and actual texts, they all experienced similar things that could've easily been translated in to "God-like" entities that were really aliens. Even some theological scholars can't dispute that this could've really happened. I mean, I guess when it comes don't to it, isn't more intelligent to say it's a possibility, rather than a non-possibility? Nothing exists to disprove the theory, so on a scientific level, you could say it was possible. But I will say, that they need to find people who don't look so nutso to convey their ideas because the people that they show all look somewhat scary and not so trust-worthy, which is half their battle in appealing to general audiences. I don't know..I found it interesting anyway...much more so than the typical crap to watch, like "Here comes Honey-Boo-Boo." What the hell is that crap, anyway? An ugly, redneck toddler with one tag-line gets her own show on TLC because she competes in pageants, which is a gross negligence of spending money for when you're poor in the first place? And don't look at me like that, because she is not an attractive child, and NO beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder!!! Some kids are just ugly. I get why TLC has given shows to the "Little People" because they actually are interesting to watch and get a point of view from. I get wanting to watch polygamists, as that's an interesting dynamic as well, and frankly, I miss my "Big Love" on HBO. But why on earth would they put this family on tv? We already have plenty of shows on rednecks, like "Hillbilly Handfishing" and "Dumbest Criminals Caught on Tape". Yes, I admit to watching pretty much all that Bravo has to offer, but at least it's interesting. I can get down with watching spoiled psuedo-rich women having cat-fights, because they are rich and get to do things that I can't. I feel like I have a handful of decent sitcoms or dramas to watch, but not many. There is a new end of the world one on Monday nights, "Revolution"...but I am so screwed because it's made by the same damn people who brought us "Lost" which I dedicated my television viewing to for all of the seasons only to have it "blue ball" me with a piece of crap ending. So I know that I am commiting to this series ONLY because I love end of the world crap, and I will likely end up highly unsatisfied when they reveal why the power is out, which will probably take 2 more seasons to uncover. My brain needs decent stimulation! And when it's not getting enough of it, I am left to "Say yes to the Dress" and "Dance Moms" or HGTV, and after the past 2 years of solidly watching and recording every episode of "House Hunters International", I am just irritated that I can't move to a foreign country and then nit-pick about upgraded fixtures with my $300/month rental budget. I am so bored.

And on top of all that, I think I'm getting sick.

I am not having the best of weeks.

We are currently uninsured, and my son is about to run out of his medications for ADHD. We had one refill left on one of the meds, which cost $300 out of pocket. He's actually on 4 medications, but we will only be able to get the two main ones, due to cost restraints. The others I had wanted to wean him off of anyway.

I spent the entire day on hold, waiting for an appointment at the local clinic, just to get the kid prescription refills, and still got no one. It's really eye-opening and scary, not ever having been without insurance in my life. My job doesn't start insurance for employees until they are employed 90 days. It's freaken BS, is what I think. What the hell are we supposed to do? We couldn't afford the $1300 they wanted for Cobra back when we could've gotten it. And right now, it's affording either health insurance or his medication...but the health insurance has a prescription deductible, so it wouldn't help.

So, even if I paid for the insurance, I wouldn't be able to afford the medication, which is the whole point. So even though I am making a decent wage, down to the county health clinic and germ fest I go, because it's my only option to medicate my son so he doesn't act up and fail his classes.

But "no Obamacare"....no way....that makes too much sense to have coverage for EVERYONE so that prescriptions are affordable. I bet it would be cheaper for me to buy a plane ticket and fly round trip to mexico to get the prescriptions at an affordable price than to buy them from Target.

And then today I find out the kids are off the next two weeks for break.

Jesus H. Christ.

I will end up wanting to hurt one of them. Or all of them. lol.

It's about 90 degrees outside today. And I can't stop shaking, I am so cold. Goosebumps down my arms and legs, sitting outside. I am too cold to take a hot shower. I literally do not think I could take being naked and wet right now, I am so cold. I am so glad I have nothing constructive to do for the next two days. I need rest.