Screw Yoga. And besides, I’m not that flexible anyway.

^{Maybe it’s because of my parents. Or maybe it’s because I DON”T drink enough. Either way, my life is not what you would call “balanced.” I don’t really know anyone whose truly is. There is always something missing in your life…something unattainable and teetering on the edge of “off”.} 

^{I am a passionate person. I love hard, I play hard, I crash hard. I don’t believe in doing things halfway. If I am going to fail at something (which I have plenty of times) then at least I will succeed in failing. And I am okay with that, because I have realistic expectations about my life, and I know that shit is going to happen.}

^{This being said, I am a horrible over-analyzer…to the point it gives me panic attacks. (Hence, the Xanax)}

^{This is a recent gift that has been bestowed upon me, in the last, say, two years… pretty much since I moved to New York. It sucks. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest and you feel, well…panicky. What do I stress out about? All things that I have no control over..that’s why I am stressed. I have a certain amount of faith in my own abilities, and relatively none in anyone else. In the evening, I look forward to taking my Xanax and not stressing out. Have a cup of tea and just sit and relax.}

^{My problem is that I have to stop taking it because I think it’s making me depressed. Well, that and the fact I am depriving my body of delicious things to eat that make me happy. Oh, and there could also be some residual effects from the fact I HATE where I live and it’s miserably cold, boring and dreary. I think that about sums it up. But I think it’s mostly the pills. It’s also made me have almost no desire to have sex, which, for me is highly unusual. So I stopped taking it about two weeks ago and am waiting for my internal fountain to spring once again. And I am going on vacation in approximately 2 months, and then I am moving somewhere where people can breed without medical approval…which will be a HUGE stress while it’s happening, yet relieving at the same time.}

^{Until then, however, if I get one more person explaining the finer points of yoga, I swear I will do some ninja moves on your ass and help you find YOUR inner chi. My brain works too fast to meditate, I don’t look good in spandex and you can call it what you want, but it’s still exercise. You are fooling NO ONE! In the meantime, I will increase my alcohol consumption and sleep a lot.}

^{I open my chakra’s with Mojito’s, baby.}

I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!

How cold does it have to get to make a “Snuggie” desirable?

The answer to that question, my friends, is whatever temperature it is right now. Though I’ve mocked it many times, the concept is slowing winning me over. A blanket with sleeves and a hood is just the thing for your multi-tasking loved one. Especially when they live in hell and the dumbasses that built the housing put the heating vents on the ceiling. Because apparently in upstate NY, schools don’t teach that heat rises. It’s especially fun when Andy is downstairs and cold, so he cranks up the heat. Naturally, I am in bed trying to nap, but sweltering away like I’m in the sauna.

I told Andy I would send him a camouflage Snuggie when he was deployed. There were some nights he was so cold there, he would’ve used it. I like the idea that it comes in different patterns and colors. If there was a pinstriped one, you could even wear it to work. I WOULD wear it at work! I have no heat in my office, since when they built it out, it somehow slipped their minds that we have feet of snow and it gets a tad chilly.

Another benefit of owning a snuggie would be the easy accessibility for streaking, though I haven’t done that since high school. Maybe Amazon should market them as a BOGO to sell with their pedophile books, because even perverts like a good bargain. (See my post on “Amazon sells “how to” books for pedophiles and realize that I am being sarcastic.)

Personally, I don’t think anything says “do me” like a snuggie. Its great for avoiding sex. You would never need to come up with a good excuse of why you don't feel "in the mood" because you would never be asked! You definitely won’t have to worry about whether or not you look fat in it…It’s a snuggie! Great for masking those extra pounds you put on during the holidays.

I’m totally in.

I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!