Screw Yoga. And besides, I’m not that flexible anyway.

^{Maybe it’s because of my parents. Or maybe it’s because I DON”T drink enough. Either way, my life is not what you would call “balanced.” I don’t really know anyone whose truly is. There is always something missing in your life…something unattainable and teetering on the edge of “off”.} 

^{I am a passionate person. I love hard, I play hard, I crash hard. I don’t believe in doing things halfway. If I am going to fail at something (which I have plenty of times) then at least I will succeed in failing. And I am okay with that, because I have realistic expectations about my life, and I know that shit is going to happen.}

^{This being said, I am a horrible over-analyzer…to the point it gives me panic attacks. (Hence, the Xanax)}

^{This is a recent gift that has been bestowed upon me, in the last, say, two years… pretty much since I moved to New York. It sucks. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest and you feel, well…panicky. What do I stress out about? All things that I have no control over..that’s why I am stressed. I have a certain amount of faith in my own abilities, and relatively none in anyone else. In the evening, I look forward to taking my Xanax and not stressing out. Have a cup of tea and just sit and relax.}

^{My problem is that I have to stop taking it because I think it’s making me depressed. Well, that and the fact I am depriving my body of delicious things to eat that make me happy. Oh, and there could also be some residual effects from the fact I HATE where I live and it’s miserably cold, boring and dreary. I think that about sums it up. But I think it’s mostly the pills. It’s also made me have almost no desire to have sex, which, for me is highly unusual. So I stopped taking it about two weeks ago and am waiting for my internal fountain to spring once again. And I am going on vacation in approximately 2 months, and then I am moving somewhere where people can breed without medical approval…which will be a HUGE stress while it’s happening, yet relieving at the same time.}

^{Until then, however, if I get one more person explaining the finer points of yoga, I swear I will do some ninja moves on your ass and help you find YOUR inner chi. My brain works too fast to meditate, I don’t look good in spandex and you can call it what you want, but it’s still exercise. You are fooling NO ONE! In the meantime, I will increase my alcohol consumption and sleep a lot.}

^{I open my chakra’s with Mojito’s, baby.}

I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So pretty please take two minutes and click here: http://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/index.aspx then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" and click on the "like" button.
Thanks a bunch!

A Year of "Status" Posts in Review, brought to you by Facebook

I was going to post something completely different today, but when I logged on to my Facebook account to see if anyone loves me today (they don't), they had a new app that you can choose from your "status" updates from the whole year and post a year in review. So here you have it...my highlight reel:

Oh, I’m sick of working. Ready to retire.~I have a headache from lack of carbs and fat. Dieting really sucks.~2 weeks with no fast food. Too bad I’m going to replace it with alcohol!;)~YAY! I will be an Aunt soon!~Went tanning as to not scare the Californians and now to tackle laundry and packing!~Am I the only one sad that Capt Phil from Deadliest Catch died?~Ready for Olympic viewing in bed..if I can make it without passing out first!~Good luck to the Iraqi’s voting in their election today. Let their freedom not be in vain, for the soldiers that have given their lives, and let it continue so those that are still there can come home safely.~I drank 3 beers on a Monday night. I just want to be held accountable for that.~There are time when I seek solace to keep from losing my temper. One of those times is when my 10 year old decides it’s a good idea to spray paint the carpet.~SPAM is an underappreciated source of pork. Just sayin…~Sometimes I have to dig deep to turn on the sparkling charisma that is me. SIGH.~Oh, my. Can I call in sick tomorrow? Or just call in lazy?~Happy at the thought of my little sis waking up a mom tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear how it went to get 3 kids up and ready for school for the first time!~Hmmmm. What can I eat?~Stop being paranoid about the government and fill out your damn Census! (There, that was me being civic-minded)~Sometimes you just have to make lemonade when life hands you lemons. (And sometimes you get squirted in the eye with the juice!)~Too nice out today. Makes me wish I actually had something fun to do. LIKE GO TO THE CASINO!~My Yahoo homepage just told me that I spend 5 years of my life eating. Somehow, I know that is setting the bar a little low.~One of the worst things to experience, is when you lose the remote control and have to keep getting up out of bed to change the channel. I might spill my margarita!~Shopping, shopping, shopping! Momma got a new purse…or two. Nothing heals the soul quite like it.~Wish for today: That I could drop it like it’s hot. Maybe not the dropping, but the picking back up without my knees cracking.~I never win at bingoL~Remind me again why I work? Oh yeah. I like purses.~Laws of Attraction, huh? Well, in the unlikely event it works, I am visually channeling no laundry to do, a clean house and a cheeseburger.~My head hurts, and I don’t know which person I’m irritated with to blame it on!~What a weird week. It’s amazing what makes you stop and adjust your perspective.~Anyone want some inlaws? I will give you a good deal for cheap!~I wish the cleaning fairies would come tonight while I am sleeping. ~I say the “Speidi” separation is just for media attention. And I am kind of ashamed I devoted my status to that.~Where did THOSE wrinkles come from???!!!~I had a really big drink tonight. It made me very happy.~I exercised two nights in a row. Yeah, I know. All you know in the world to be true has now been shattered. Just don’t start setting high expectations.~Glad my beefcake is home.~Well...now what?~Why can’t these kids go back to school already?~What is an acceptable amount of doughnuts to consume without being judged?~Yucky week. Andy’s stepdad just passed away.~I just want to eat lots of bread and go back to sleep.~Are you sure this exercise stuff works? So far I just hurt.~I heart Gordon Ramsey.~I sneezed and I think I broke my ovary.