A Year of "Status" Posts in Review, brought to you by Facebook

I was going to post something completely different today, but when I logged on to my Facebook account to see if anyone loves me today (they don't), they had a new app that you can choose from your "status" updates from the whole year and post a year in review. So here you have it...my highlight reel:

Oh, I’m sick of working. Ready to retire.~I have a headache from lack of carbs and fat. Dieting really sucks.~2 weeks with no fast food. Too bad I’m going to replace it with alcohol!;)~YAY! I will be an Aunt soon!~Went tanning as to not scare the Californians and now to tackle laundry and packing!~Am I the only one sad that Capt Phil from Deadliest Catch died?~Ready for Olympic viewing in bed..if I can make it without passing out first!~Good luck to the Iraqi’s voting in their election today. Let their freedom not be in vain, for the soldiers that have given their lives, and let it continue so those that are still there can come home safely.~I drank 3 beers on a Monday night. I just want to be held accountable for that.~There are time when I seek solace to keep from losing my temper. One of those times is when my 10 year old decides it’s a good idea to spray paint the carpet.~SPAM is an underappreciated source of pork. Just sayin…~Sometimes I have to dig deep to turn on the sparkling charisma that is me. SIGH.~Oh, my. Can I call in sick tomorrow? Or just call in lazy?~Happy at the thought of my little sis waking up a mom tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear how it went to get 3 kids up and ready for school for the first time!~Hmmmm. What can I eat?~Stop being paranoid about the government and fill out your damn Census! (There, that was me being civic-minded)~Sometimes you just have to make lemonade when life hands you lemons. (And sometimes you get squirted in the eye with the juice!)~Too nice out today. Makes me wish I actually had something fun to do. LIKE GO TO THE CASINO!~My Yahoo homepage just told me that I spend 5 years of my life eating. Somehow, I know that is setting the bar a little low.~One of the worst things to experience, is when you lose the remote control and have to keep getting up out of bed to change the channel. I might spill my margarita!~Shopping, shopping, shopping! Momma got a new purse…or two. Nothing heals the soul quite like it.~Wish for today: That I could drop it like it’s hot. Maybe not the dropping, but the picking back up without my knees cracking.~I never win at bingoL~Remind me again why I work? Oh yeah. I like purses.~Laws of Attraction, huh? Well, in the unlikely event it works, I am visually channeling no laundry to do, a clean house and a cheeseburger.~My head hurts, and I don’t know which person I’m irritated with to blame it on!~What a weird week. It’s amazing what makes you stop and adjust your perspective.~Anyone want some inlaws? I will give you a good deal for cheap!~I wish the cleaning fairies would come tonight while I am sleeping. ~I say the “Speidi” separation is just for media attention. And I am kind of ashamed I devoted my status to that.~Where did THOSE wrinkles come from???!!!~I had a really big drink tonight. It made me very happy.~I exercised two nights in a row. Yeah, I know. All you know in the world to be true has now been shattered. Just don’t start setting high expectations.~Glad my beefcake is home.~Well...now what?~Why can’t these kids go back to school already?~What is an acceptable amount of doughnuts to consume without being judged?~Yucky week. Andy’s stepdad just passed away.~I just want to eat lots of bread and go back to sleep.~Are you sure this exercise stuff works? So far I just hurt.~I heart Gordon Ramsey.~I sneezed and I think I broke my ovary.