Thursday, December 9, 2010

How cold does it have to get to make a “Snuggie” desirable?

The answer to that question, my friends, is whatever temperature it is right now. Though I’ve mocked it many times, the concept is slowing winning me over. A blanket with sleeves and a hood is just the thing for your multi-tasking loved one. Especially when they live in hell and the dumbasses that built the housing put the heating vents on the ceiling. Because apparently in upstate NY, schools don’t teach that heat rises. It’s especially fun when Andy is downstairs and cold, so he cranks up the heat. Naturally, I am in bed trying to nap, but sweltering away like I’m in the sauna.
I told Andy I would send him a camouflage Snuggie when he was deployed. There were some nights he was so cold there, he would’ve used it. I like the idea that it comes in different patterns and colors. If there was a pinstriped one, you could even wear it to work. I WOULD wear it at work! I have no heat in my office, since when they built it out, it somehow slipped their minds that we have feet of snow and it gets a tad chilly.
Another benefit of owning a snuggie would be the easy accessibility for streaking, though I haven’t done that since high school. Maybe Amazon should market them as a BOGO to sell with their pedophile books, because even perverts like a good bargain. (See my post on “Amazon sells “how to” books for pedophiles and realize that I am being sarcastic.)
Personally, I don’t think anything says “do me” like a snuggie. Its great for avoiding sex. You would never need to come up with a good excuse of why you don't feel "in the mood" because you would never be asked! You definitely won’t have to worry about whether or not you look fat in it…It’s a snuggie! Great for masking those extra pounds you put on during the holidays.
I’m totally in.

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  1. Would you believe that my husband was seriously going to buy this for me for Christmas one year? Needless to say, he's fucking awful at picking presents. He was also going to pair it with a back massager (one that you throw over your shoulders and lean against a wall with) because I was always asking him to rub a sore spot on my back. Sweet guy.

  2. I got my wife one and I never see her in it.

  3. LOL!
    It will be a good present when I am a Nana. I cold totally see a grandmother who is always cold wearing this at home, reading her little nana books.

    Odie, Don't feel bad. It's just not fashionable. One day, she will be too old to care what she looks like and then you will see her wear it. haha. General rule of thumb for women: Stick to jewelry and nice vacations as presents.

    TB, You almost have to respect a gift like the massager that you have to rub against the wall like a bear scratching it's ass against a tree!!! LOL!!! That's friggin awesome!!!

  4. Sometimes I'd like to wear the traditional dress of Arabic women. No make up necessary or worries if you look fat. Have a big zit? Cover it w/ a burqa! Of course their reasons have nothing to do with the freedom of it.
    I'd be really bad if I wore the full traditional dress too, b/c I'd be incognito and nobody would know it was me.