Monday, November 22, 2010

Bargaining with the Food Devil

So, I was calculating what calorie-allotment I am allowed to have on my MyPlate diet, and plugging away all of the things I am making for Thanksgiving. I am allowed to have half a sliver of pumpkin pie, a spoonful of gravy and 3 oz of turkey.

Or I can have two bottles of wine.

Yeah, like that’s going to happen. (There is really no choice there.)

There were days at my fattest, when I seriously contemplated gastric bypass surgery. It sounds too easy to have a surgery and lose 100 lbs in 6 months. I stopped considering it because I couldn’t get past the image of eating Thanksgiving Dinner out of a Dixie Cup. In fact, I think it made me actually cry a little bit for those who HAVE gotten the surgery done. The one holiday that’s whole existence is to feast, and you would be done in one bite. It’s just sad.

I will pour some gravy on the floor this Thanksgiving to honor you, comrades.

I haven’t really discussed it on my blog, but I have been dieting since October 4th.

I know the exact date because it was the last time I have had real butter.

If you know me, that’s a feat in itself. I don’t think I have ever bought margarine before, and it’s very confusing to know which one to go with. Nevertheless, I will lose 60 lbs before I move in May. But the problem is that I didn’t know what to do in the world of diet foods. I am not normally a “snacker” so I didn’t really know if it would be a good thing to eat those 5 smaller meals. I thought it may just encourage me to eat more often, which is a slippery slope. I ended up with a pretty good system. My mom recommended using MyPlate on to track my calories. It tells you how many you can eat per week, depending on your size and how many lbs a week you want to lose. I’ve lost 26 lbs since I started, which SOUNDS good, but since I need to lose about 80, it’s like dropping a stone in a pail. My biggest struggle with food, is that I have to constantly remind myself that this is not the last time I will be able to experience it. Like my taste buds are scared that they will never see the likes of another taco, so I have to eat 12. I eat for the taste. I eat for the endorphins. Cheeseburgers are one of the top things in life that make me truly happy. If that makes me shallow, so be it. And so I have had to “up” my dosage of Xanax and cigarettes to compensate.

Don’t judge me.

Thursday, I will eat my Thanksgiving Dinner. And I will eat it with pride. But I will not over-do it and wreck my accomplishments thus far. I WILL wrestle with the Food Devil, and win. And so can all of you who are trying hard to shed some lbs this holiday season, instead of embracing the fat-girl within for one more Christmas.

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  1. Keri back in Jan I ran across a book "Eat Right For You Type" meaning blood type and found that for my O neg. I was not supposed to eat anything associated with wheat flour and no sugar drinks or Pork. I immediately lost 15 lbs. and have kept it off and could loose a lot more if I put my mind to it and ate more salands. Just stopping the pork brought my blood pressure from the high 150's down to the 120' & low 130's. It has become a lifestyle for me now and even though I could eat a doz. doughnuts I don't even consider them food for me, the same with cake, pies,etc. There are gluten free mixes that I can eat but seldom do. Just a thought for you. Good luck with your progress.

  2. 26 lbs since beg of Oct is amazing! I've got a good 20-30 lbs to take off but I can never seem to get it together. I'm an overeater and eat way past the point of being full. I would never judge you! You're doing great!

  3. I lost 7 lbs. I do not plan to be overly careful on Thanksgiving, as like you, it is a joyous holiday of food. I do plan to not eat to the point I can not eat anymore. I think a splurge day every 2 weeks is not going to be the end of the world. I'm also doing a 10k, just in case.
    Oh, and I would judge you.

  4. I just wanted to cry a little because I miss Xanax and cigarettes.

    And I loved your comment about people having to eat Thanksgiving Dinner out of a Dixie Cup! It would seriously be a tragedy :(

  5. I love the myplate function on livestrong! It helped me lose the 60 lbs I gained during my pregnancy, plus the 10 I had already need to lose :) I honestly believe that counting calories is the way to go, and over time you'll get used to it, and won't want to overeat anymore.

  6. Maybe you should take up running. Or some other form of regular exercise.

    I'm not judging you or anything... but I do think exercise will help.

    That said, I totally believe in enjoying your food. Personally, I would rather eat a great European chocolate once a week than crap diet chocolate every day - so if you like cheeseburgers, don't settle for anything less than the most kick-ass cheeseburgers there are. Sometimes, a really good burger(or whatever) will leave you far more satisfied and reduce cravings. And cost less in terms of calories in the long run.

  7. TB...awww. I went through it when I was pregnant too! Save the Xanax for your older Like I am saving alcoholism for mine. are sweet, and if you were standing in front of me, I would sweetly pat your head as I shake mine and smile at you. I exercise as minimal as possible. I can't hold myself to anything regular, but thats okay. I am still in pretty good shape. If I exercise, my appetite increases dramatically, so it doesn't even out in the wash. But thanks.

  8. Mmmm...Xanax and cigarettes. That was my lunch before I became pregnant. You're hilarious and I'm following you. Check out my place, I think we'd get along.

  9. Xanax is amazing. The cigarettes are too, but I have to quit those. Andy quit cold pun intended. That just makes me want to smoke more. Everything fun is bad. ;(