The day after Thanksgiving brings the hoards of shoppers racing to find the deal of the century. I am not one to turn up my nose at some bargain shopping, but I hardly agree with the premise of Black Friday. Let me tell you my reasons:
1. Who the hell wants to get out of bed before 8am to get a family-sized trampoline or a Tickle Me Elmo? We get so few days off during the year, I am invoking my right to sleep in after I have crammed my gut full of carbs the day before.
2. The traffic is ridiculous. Unfortunately, if you don’t feel like cooking after you’ve slaved the day prior, you’re kind of screwed since they put all the good restaurants around the shopping centers. It’s even worse when you live near a town like Watertown, NY…where there is literally one road that everything is on.
3. Bitches ARE Crazy! Yes, I said it! People will get in your face and fight you if you grab the same pair of shoes. There were people trampled to death for the opening of a Walmart sale on Black Friday! I don’t know about you, but I am NOT going out like that! What would it say on your Tombstone? “I just had to buy that Paula Dean Cookware at a discount.” (It is good stuff, though.)
I don’t like that it’s called Black Friday because I always get it confused with the day Jesus died, and then I feel guilty. That day is called Good Friday. Seems to me like somebody confused the two, because I would think a holiday devoted to shopping would be called Good Friday, and the Lamb of God being ruthlessly murdered would be Black Friday. I’m just saying…
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