Monday, November 1, 2010

Oh, not a man in spandex before I've had my coffee...

I didn't think I would, nor could devote a post to this issue, but I guess I was wrong.

Last night, my mother in law was telling Andy about how a man brought his kids trick-or-treating in a spandex Spiderman suit, and how it's one thing when you are going to an adult Halloween party, but to be out where there are swarms of kids in spandex is entirely another. It's INAPPROPRIATE.

I would have to agree. I went to NYC with some friends a few years back to go Christmas shopping, and low and behold in Times Square...there was Spidey. It must have been in the 30's that day (I was wearing a scarf!) but there he was, with all his glory-bits out in the wind. I couldn't resist nodding downwards when I said, "It's a bit chilly, huh?"

Then this morning, I was driving to work when I am smacked in the face by the image of a man walking (NOT EVEN RUNNING), wearing electric blue shiny spandex. Now, we all know that this is going to happen from time to time, but there needs to be some kind of "heads up". We can expect men in spandex at cycling events, wrestling, the gym and marathons. I would imagine the chill would make you quite nimble as you dart around other competitors with ease from the silkiness. We can even expect, no...ANTICIPATE, that when we go to the beach, some misguided soul will bust out a shiny speedo in three sizes too small. It doesn't make it right, but my point is, we are ready for it...that's why people bring coolers of alcohol to the beach!

This man that offended my eyes and set my week off to a horrific start, was atleast 50 years old. I am not saying that 50 is old, because generally it isn't. But again, there is a shelf-life as to how long you can wear anything that tight. One of my bff's said that old men just don't realize it. I will make sure my husband realizes it! How are you not aware of something getting twisted between your knees when you run??!!! There are certain issues dealing with gravity that just make it...Oh, I know....I'm sorry. It's still Manic Depressive Monday and you are having trouble with these images.

I will just leave it like this:

Ladies, if you have a man and he wears spandex, you better make sure it is at a socially acceptable event and I have some kind of pre-warning or I am coming looking for you because you know better.

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Readers: What other situations do you think might be "spandex appropriate" for men? Please post your comments!


  1. It's noon, and I'm still not ready for the site of spandex on a man.
    Visiting from Blog Frog.

  2. Jean, my husband wears these spandex shorts under his PT uniform when he runs and I absolutely have to turn the other way. Some things are just not right!