Since I was a little girl, I always knew that one day, I would be famous.
Obviously, I am not a celebrity, but I feel famous, having my blog...and having people read what I have to say.
The one thing that I always dreamed of doing was walking the red carpet at the Academy Awards. One day, I still think I will make this happen, even if I have to pay someone to take me as their date. I have a book in the works, and when it's time, I think would be a stirring inspiration for a movie. I would try to get Julie Bowen, from "Modern Family" to play me. I think she captures my essence.
I love watching the awards shows, especially when lesser-known actors and actresses win, and get emotional, knowing that they are in the biggest moment of their lives. You only get a few moments in life that you can stop and bask in for a moment, and just feel the lights shine on you.
For me, my moment hasn't come yet. But I've had mini-moments, and obviously feel great pride that I have taken a step towards gaining an audience with the popularity and feedback from my blog. It's not easy to put your life online for the world to see. It's not as bad when you don't know your readers, but when people read the bad parts of your life and know you, it opens you up for gossip and judgement.
I'm at a major crossroads in my life right now. I have many large decisions that will be decided in the next 3 months, and will change the future of my life. Of course, this stresses me out to an almost paralyzing point, but I keep reminding myself that the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, will lay a path for me to follow. I just have to be patient and quiet, so that I can hear the whisper of what to do when it comes.
I also have to have surgery.
My uterus is trying to escape my body, thanks to having kids. This results in me peeing myself slightly, everytime I cough, sneeze or laugh with a full bladder. It's really unbecoming for a 32 year old woman. So I either get a "snow fence" installed, to hold it back up in place, or they have to take it out completely...an idea I am uncomfortable with. I don't need any premature launches in to menopause early. I had my last child 12 years ago, but I keep putting it off because I could be in the hospital for a few days. If a med student looked in my vagina, they would be perplexed, because I am relatively sure that nothing in there is where it's supposed to be.
But now I envision me trying to poop, and out slides my uterus...sitting in the toilet,and I would end up being ambulanced to the hospital, with no doubt, a hot EMT having to carry my uterus, as it hangs out of my va-jay-jay.
I know that this is the way it would play out, so I better stop putting it off.