Thursday, April 21, 2011

I've decided...some more.....'s okay to weigh yourself 6 times in a row, to make sure the scale is accurate. Especially when you know in your mind, that it should be less than what it is, for the amount of suffering you've done.

...that yearlong school would be more beneficial to parents AND teachers AND children. Sometimes we all need a break from each other, but maybe not a whole summer!

...the creative genius who came up with the Koehler faucet commercial with the men wearing painted on uniforms and washing them off, should be greatly rewarded! Makes me dance a little when I hear, "Working at the Car Wash."

...sadly, a "Skinny Girl" margarita is not a good diet plan. So, I think I am going back to the old version where I can make it as strong as I want and not be reminded of being skinny OR fat while I drink.

...that it's okay to drop a dish in the sink when you hear, "You've got the right stuff, baby..." blaring from the kids tv and go running in the room like there's a fire because you thought it was NKOTB. And then when your children look at you like you're insane, to pull out an actual picture of yourself at age 10 with the NKOTB after a concert and tell them that Donnie Walhberg would've been their father if you were allowed to make those kinds of choices at that age.

...that right around the time you get to fully know each other as a couple, one of you goes through a change.'s okay to lick the spoon, wash it off, redip it and lick it again.'s not that your prayers aren't heard. It's just that someone else needed help more. And that should bring you SOME kind of peace inside.

...that sadly I never know what to say to a friend in pain, but I can come up with a witty remark anytime. And I would gladly trade the two.'s okay to go wine tasting and drink all the samples. The spitting is "optional".'s wrong that society says it's wrong to laugh at someone when they fall. After you make sure they are okay, it's freaken hilarious!


  1. you are very wise woman! spitting out the wine at a wine tasting is way boring in the end compared to actually drinking the samples!

    love your blog!
    bluedotmom (amy)

  2. I always skip that washing off part with spoons, but don't tell my husband. And I normally weigh myself at least 4 times to ensure the scale is displaying the proper weight. Of course, I'll do a guest post for you; I'd love to. And you need to set up your reply to email, so I can reply to your comments (I realize that was a pretty selfish statement, but you'll get a ton more email and interaction, it's fun, I swear - let me know if you need a bit of help).

  3. Girl, you Crack me up!

    And WhereTF is this faucet commercial & WHY haven't I seen it?!

  4. Well I've decided that:

    1 - you are smart, insightful and funny as shit.
    2- that without the funny part, the smart and insightful stuff would be far less effective and probably come off as boring and/or smarmy or just plain annoying.
    3 -ALWAYS drink the wine samples, fuck the spitting out, and ask for as many snacks or little crackers as you can mooch off of those people (and try to sneak in some water in between so you don't get hungover before you've even finished all that drinking, which... embarrassingly, I have. ask my husband. wine tasting with me is really fun.... and then quickly becomes... not so much.
    4 - TRY to hire a driver when you drink those wine samples, especially once you're a parent. wouldn't want the crazy grandparents ending up raising them, would ya?
    5 - Often the best thing to do with a friend in pain is to just hold their hand, or say "I'm here if you need me, whenever you need me," and send them some flowers so they can look at them and be reminded of your friendship and support. Searching for the right words is pointless. Sometimes, many times, there aren't any. And after you tell them you're here for them -- crack that witty remark. Humor is not only a great distraction, but keeps them from losing their shit and wallowing in depression. The ability to make someone laugh is a gift, bitch, and you have it in spades.
    6 - it's okay to lick the spoon and redip without rinsing it off, as long as you're not ill. (okay, maybe I'm just justifying my utter lack of hygiene and basic laziness).
    7 -I must be watching the wrong channels, because I've been missing out on that koehler commercial!
    8 - Anything that starts with "skinny girl" is bullshit. (and I am a skinny girl, but I still know it's wrong).
    9 - Being a skinny girl means you have small boobs, (unless you purchase some), and you start looking older faster. You can't freakin' win. Maybe it's better to have a bigger ass, but a fuller face that looks younger and softer.
    10 - Starting your day by reading the right blog can make all the difference in your mood. It's like starting the day with a good friend. So thanks for kick-starting my day, Keri! Hope you have a good one too!

  5. Thanks so much for the comment and follow, I have followed back, such a cute blog as well.

    I hope you guys do get to be able to get stationed here. Although, it can be rather alienating, it's something that most people don't get the chance to do, live in Italy!!

  6. Thank you for the blog comment! Im a new follower now! Yay :)

    Follow me too! <3

  7. Hi! Thanks for the blog comment today! I am now your newest follower! :)

  8. Spit out wine...Never, Never. Enjoy the moment, swallow and hope for more. This was an awesome post girl. Keep the good stuff coming.

  9. When I saw your comment on my blog, I had to come over to "meet" you. I'm a former Army wife myself. My husband got out in 2001 after about 9 years of active duty.

    This was such a fun post. It appears you have my same dry sense of humor :)

  10. After I commented above I noticed you had as Asperger/autism button on your page. Having a 5 yr old who was just diagnosed last month, I was curious to see what your experience was. I read about your son, and I am so glad that I found you! This is all new to me, and I am amazed at the network of bloggers & moms with similar experiences with autism that I can now reach out to or be encouraged by.

  11. NEVER Spit the Wine out!!! Your suppose to drink it that's why they gave it to you!!

    Marky Marky would be my kids Baby Daddy had my mom let me go to a NKOTB concert- HOT should be his middle name!!

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning as always- great stuff~~

  12. Hi! Thanks for the comment on my blog. I LOVE this list! And in my drinking days I definitly would not spit the wine samples out! What a waste. And I will be reading your blog from now on too.

  13. I LOVE your blog, which I quess means I love you lol! As for what to say to someone in pain, sometimes just being there is good enough, this I know after losing my youngest. Words wouldnt help, but having a hand to hold helped more than anything else.

  14. Hahaha this made me laugh that commercial is so risky - I love it.

  15. Skip the margarita entirely, straight shots are an excellent diet plan. The more you drink the more likely you are to puke.