Friday, April 15, 2011

Real Housewives of the Military???

I made the mistake of watching "The Real Housewives of NY" last night, since Grey's Anatomy was running reruns AGAIN. Why do I pay for cable? Seriously...there is not a damn thing on other than HGTV.

I am so sick of watching reruns. I used to think Real Housewives was appropriately amusing. But they've screwed it up so bad that I am finding myself so bored that I actually go to bed early and just turn it off in the middle of episodes. I did that Sunday night, during RH of Orange County too.

I wonder what Real Housewives would be like if they did a "Military" version? This would be the likely cast of characters:

You could have the straitlaced FRG leader, in all her cookie-baking glory who is always ready to talk about how great her husband "The Capt" is. This woman lives and breathes military and even puts bumper stickers on her car and wears lapel pins to prove it.

You could have the nice girl next door, who has a great sense of humor and you almost think you would be friends, but then her husband won't let her leave the house and their 4 kids. This is the girl who, during a deployment, has to keep the webcam signed online at all times so he can monitor her every move from overseas. (I wish I was kidding that I knew of someone like this.)

You have the cheating wife/cheating husband scenario, where one of them is always accusing the other of cheating on each other. They are getting divorced every other week. Then during deployments, he says he is going to leave her for another woman, so she gets herself pregnant on R&R to suck him back in.

There is the college student wife, who doesn't have kids yet and is SUPER in love with her husband but fiercely determined to not have kids before she gets college done so she can prove her parents wrong when they complained she was never going to get her education if she married a soldier. This poor young thing is still jaded about the military because she only has herself to worry about. Deployment is a different beast when you have kids that you can't get a break from.

There is also the awesome couple, who you and your husband both get along with, and you think, "okay, what's wrong with these people, because they are too good to be true." And then they proposition you because they are swingers, and divulge this information out in the open at get togethers.

And then there is the military wives like me...I work full time, (although you could be a full time mom) I keep a clean house. I love my kids but occasionally make them shovel dog shit. I love my husband, and will occasionally wear some patriotic display of affection because I am proud of his service. I enjoy my time with my friends, and I have goals that I want to accomplish for my life, so that when my husband is gone, I have something to get me out of bed and out of misery. I also like to be in charge, so I would most likely argue with the prissy, FRG leader. Not to be in charge of the FRG, I am just a little bit of a control freak and I know more than they do. haha.

I also think they should do a spin-off series, "The RH of Detroit". Now THAT would be interesting to see.

My advice, stop trying to find women to be on these shows that are vapid and have such social insecurities that they can't even have a group of friends because they are always trying to "one up" each other. Stop choosing them for looks, although, many of them are in their 40s. Why don't you choose some younger women too. How about a few that haven't eaten 4 husbands for dinner already and been pumped full of botox and collagen? Choose women who actually do more than arrange benefit dinners for the sole purpose of showing how charitable they are. And pick people who are not psuedo-celebrity-wannabes. Larsa Pippen? Kyle Richards? Camille Grammer? There is nothing "Real" about them.

Andy Cohen, get these Yentas out and get some real chicks. Let's freshen things up or the series will die a final death.


  1. Great post Keri and eye opening as well. Have a great weekend.

  2. Love it! And the description of the various army wifes totally fits!

  3. ROFL- you for got that "alcoholic" Army wife who started going out to girls night to get out of the house & now you never see her w/out some booze-haha oh-wait that could be me :0/

  4. Lol, I have SOOO thought about having an Army Wives version of the RH, however, I didn't have all the character details worked out. I think it'd actually be a great reality show :) And agreed that it's becoming boring... I miss the RH of the OC, that was some of the best, oh and early NY b/c I love Bethanny, but at least I get to soak up her sarcastic witty goodness on her own show.

  5. But who needs a reality TV show when you already deal with those people on a monthly, if not weekly basis?

    We don't do TV here because it's all crap to us except for HGTV and maybe The History and Discovery channel. Not really worth the $50-60 bucks unfortunately. Whenever I visit my sister who has cable though, and I'm in the house alone, I could watch HGTV all day. Probably all week if I had the opportunity. Especially Color Splash. I know David Bromstad isn't on our team, but that doesn't mean I enjoy every second of him shirtless, which thankfully is almost every episode lol.

  6. I have never seen those shows honestly because the thought of how painfully annoying those people are makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I deal with enough stupid people in my actual life

    Last war movie we watched I found myself realizing that while I still in my head think I'm the niave newly married wife of the group, I have in fact become (when the crap did that happen) much closer to the older, been around forever bossy wife. (If we had whatever an frg is up here, I am sure I would try and take over it too, because I would obviously know best, right?) Frick. I can only imagine what I'd be labled on reality tv.

  7. I agree with you - the RH series went 'drama-liscious' in a horribly bad way. I watch them as background now, while blog hopping and other more important pursuits.

    RH of Detroit? Might be interesting...IF they get real housewives of Detroit and not a stepford wife of one of the suburbs (that shall remain nameless...if you're from Metro Detroit, you know which ones I'm talking about). Speaking as a real homemaker/blogger of Metro Detroit (and soooooo not a stepford wife) so I know what I'm talking about.

    Love your writing style - Full On and Full Speed Ahead...much needed in the blogosphere.

  8. Don't get me wrong, I watch all of them, but I'm finding it to be too much.

    RH of Miami, fortunately got cut early b/c it was boring.

    This format of reality TV covering rich women by marriage is getting old. Just b/c you have money, does not make you interesting. Watching them go to parties or sit around and gossip is boring... DO something (and this is coming from a super lazy person).

  9. You forgot the reserve component spouses. #1 who is hell bent on the military not seeping into ANY aspect of HER family's life. She doesn't want contacted by the FRG. She doesn't want on the phone tree list, and she can do it all on her own. While her husband is deployed. #2 is teh reserve component spouse who is so in the dark she thinks her husband goes ot drill for fun and it's volunteer. He doesn't get paid, there are no benefits, and when he gets deployed, she's totally screwed.

  10. I'd watch real housewives of the military because at least they're dealing with some real actual shit. It's called: reality. Right up in your grill reality. I've never watched more than a few minutes of any of the other RH shows; not because I'm a snob, but because I know way too many real housewives now that i live in the midwest (as opposed to LA). And there is nothing glamorous about it. It's a struggle, it's a challenge, it's full of joy, and it's full of bullshit. I'd rather talk to a bunch of "real" women than watch a bunch of bitches who have no idea what reality is. Besides which, they're so freakin' miserable and self-involved that I have no interest in promoting them or raising their ratings. And yeah -- real housewives of detroit would be awesome. But here's an awesome idea (if I do say so myself!) -- How about a show called "Real Women Who Live in the Real Fucking World" that celebrates all sorts of women and their triumphs and their struggles and all the different ways they look and live and the choices they make. Some real goddamn "reality" tv that actually contains some unedited, non-airbrushed reality. Too many people live with their heads up their asses, especially the shameless attention whores on those shows, and I'd love to see a show about people who confront life and deal with it honestly. Like you, sista!

  11. Hi peeps! I'd be the first to watch an Army Wives reality show, definitely. Let's thrown in a mother-in-law who's always hovering to find the slightest dot on the poor wife. LOL!