Thursday, April 14, 2011

Your Mama Wears Combat Boots...and your son wears pink toenail polish!

You know...I get it.

I am a liberal girl in a conservative world. But let me be clear in saying I don't consider myself a "Democrat". I am much to complex to be thrown in a box with a bunch of jackasses who think way too much of themselves and get paid for it.

I don't get paid for it.

Around most military bases, people are conservative. I understand how they might believe that saying they are Republican has to do with a strong defense of the country.

But how can so many military wives that clearly have had experience with unplanned/teenage pregnancies be anti-choice when it comes to abortion? Obviously they went with their pro-life stance, since military bases are overrun with unmonitored 3 and 4 year olds. I almost hit one with my car on a daily basis. Not to mention the women in the post office who let their kids run screaming through a busy lunchtime crowd, and then smile and shrug at you, as if to say, "Ha, kids..."

"Uh, no bitch. When my kids were that age, they stood next to me quietly in the store and didn't go shoving in to people carrying 20 packages, because we taught them how to behave in public."

And I love it how when people who know you have kids automatically assume you like kids in general. I am not one of these people. I don't like random children. Sorry. To deal with a snot-infested, slimy child who doesn't shut up...I pretty much have to love them. My kids and my best friends/familys kids. That's it. And I love my friends kids because I am close enough with the parents that if the kids are out of control, I don't feel like I am overstepping my bounds by saying "NO" to them. topic.

I read this article yesterday on Yahoo Pink Toenail Polish about a J.Crew photoshoot that the editor featured a picture of her painting her sons toenails pink. In this picture, the looks of joy on their faces make you want to smile. There is such clear love between them, and, I say this while having two sons...that kind of moment is priceless because of the level of giggles that you know are passing between them. It's really an adorable picture. And I don't even use the word "adorable".

So all these dumbass Right-Wingers (which I am not saying ALL right-wingers are dumbasses...I am very good friends with some. Just MOST of them.) were having a field day flipping out that this woman was going to cause her son to be a cross-dresser or, (GASP) maybe even push him to be gay.

What sane, logical mind draws the conclusion that the child must be reasoning, "I am really loving this pink nail polish....I think I want to try sex with another man."

How do you draw that conclusion? If it were a little girl playing football with her dad, would it be the same thing?

I get might be afraid of gay people. Mostly because you are soooo concerned they might hit on you. Gay people can smell your tight-ass straightness from a mile away. They no better want to be rejected by someone they show an interest in than straight people do. But in any case, they are here, and they are queer. And you better just get used to the fact that people are born the way they are. No amount of pink toenail polish is going to turn a child gay. We could paint their legs and arms with it and put them in a chiquita banana woman wig, and parade them around with a hip twitch, and IF THEY ARE NOT GAY ALREADY, this would not be any more than some silly photographs.

My son wanted to be a cheerleader for Halloween one year. So, I let him. Bought him a wig and everything. He was thrilled. He also used to have a harem of naked Barbie dolls that he would take in the bath with him when he was 2 and 3. Is it gay, because he had his own Barbie dolls? Or is he training to be a gigalo, since they were all naked and in the tub with him? Who the hell knows?

But I know that I love my son and all the different parts that make him who he is. If he is gay, or he is straight is of no concern to me. I want him to be healthy. I don't care if he marries a man, woman, different long as who he marries loves him and treats him right.

Please help a sister out!!! I was nominated on Babble's Top 50 Mom Blogs List. So can you please take two minutes and click here: then scroll down to "Glamorous Life" (on the second page) and click on the "like" button.


  1. Right on, Keri. I retweeted your twitter link to this one.

    And I voted for your blog. Again.

  2. I saw that commentary on the TODAY show yesterday & laughed so hard my coffee spit out! As a mom of four boys at some point almost all of them have had a quick snap shot of them in dress up high heels,boas & princess tiaras! They where having a blast playing with their friends who just happen to be mommy's friends kids- they had girls I didn't. I seriously laughed just like that mom in the J Crew ad & took pictures for my husband. Of course he did the usual guy thing & pretended to be upset- but he had a smile on his face the whole time.I don't think in anyway did this impact their sexuality at four & five years old. It is sad that people today can't just let kids be kids- they are trying to make them grow up to damn fast.

  3. So true and always right on! People are so concerned about all the stuff around them that could be 'bad' when they need to just be focusing on their own life, children, etc and ALLOW others to BE THEMSELVES. It's madness I tell you.

  4. Girl, this is SO SO SO TRUE. America is going to the shitter, people can't have a moment with their kid without everyone judging. It's ludicrous. I personally will shop in the boys section for my daughter, I don't like all the fluff in the girls section. Boys shit, as far as play clothing goes lasts longer too! Good on you, for letting your son be what he wants to be. In the end it's his life. Who are we to point in one direction or another. I'm one of those mothers who don't love kids, too. Only mine, and only when she's behaving :) PS) Thanks for all the supportive love on my blog lately. You're the best! Virtual High five!

  5. Good blog today girl, keep em coming.

  6. I wrote an email to the mom in the ad to thank her for helping make the world the tolerant place I'd like my daughter to live in. Thank you for writing about it too. :))

  7. They were discussing this on Kathy Lee and Hoda. I couldn't agree more! I don't understand what the big deal is. Maybe people should take a closer look at how they raise their own children before they complain about everyone else's parenting habits. Clearly there is love and delight in the ad, so what's the big deal?

  8. I just started reading your blog a few days ago, and this entry confirms how awesome you are (the hunch I originally had that led me to following the first place).

    A lot of the people throwing a bitch fest about boys playing with dolls and painting toe nails...and throw out the excuse about how the poor kid is going to be ridiculed at school...don't seem to get it that most if not all of the bullies at school tend to learn that behavior from somewhere. Usually their parents. So maybe one should worry less about how some kid might be fun of at school, and put that energy towards raising their own kids to be a tolerant, open minded, kind human beings if they REALLY care about shrinking the amount of bullies at school.

  9. Couldn't possibly agree with you more... on pretty much everything you said. lol.

  10. awesome son went as dorothy one year...he had a blast!