Monday, April 11, 2011

Where was all that crap hiding???

Sometimes I have my posts planned out, some even written ahead of time. I've been able to swing through this whole blogging thing prepared...

...until now. So who knows what you're going to get?

I know...a discussion about dog poop, because what a better way to start a Monday?

All the snow has now melted and a battle of wills is taking place in my house.

Me VS the children and who is going out there to pick up the carnage?

We both know that I will win, because I hold all the master keys...letting them go outside, letting them play video games...LETTING THEM EAT more than peanut butter everyday...

It's a matter of fortitude and the ability to persevere.

Yesterday, was Day 1 of D.P. Duty. Gavin made it exactly 20 minutes before throwing himself on my floor and crying. It was rather ridiculous. "Child," I said, unsympathetically, "you are going to pick yourself up and just go out there and get it done. I had to do it, and your father's father before you. It's a rite of passage." (okay, so maybe THAT was overdramatizing it a bit too. He gets it from SOMEWHERE.)

It lasted about 90 minutes, and then Gavin fell asleep on the floor. Today it is raining. He will still go out there for 20 minutes when he gets home. Andy and I have no delusions that it's all going to be picked up. But in the next two weeks, they can make a hefty dent in it before Andy gets home. (You really didn't think I was going to do it, did you???) What is your biggest fight with your kids?? I really can't believe I posted about this, but everyone has these arguments with their kids. I don't know about you, but ever since I was a kid and my parents said the reason they had kids was so they didn't ever have to do chores...the thought appealed to me greatly. So I waited and waited until they are finally old enough to do a few chores...AND ITS WONDERFUL...when they do it RIGHT. Which is rarely. Most of the time I have to go back and check 8 times for what they missed while they were half-assing it.

Other than dog feces, I would have to say that I had a great, relaxing weekend. I managed to lose 12 lbs this week. I did not manage to quit smoking, but I am trying to make myself smoke less every day and I switched to shorter cigarettes, which, in my mind HAS to count a little bit.

We also got the house we wanted in Cali!! I was very relieved to hear this news. It makes a big difference when you know you are going to have a house to go to and not spend weeks in a hotel. It also makes it much easier to budget. We want to get there and enjoy our summer, not be so cash-strapped after moving that we have nothing.

Fact One: The Army is giving us approx. $5000 to move & having movers come pack us up and move us.

Fact Two: The cost of driving two vehicles cross country, staying in hotels for two weeks, and eating out will equal that $5000.

So the $2000 security deposit and $3100 first month's rent is coming out of whose pocket you ask? Mine. The army doesn't cover everything, folks.

Little ole, soon to be unemployed me. Thats another fun hit to take when moving....losing my job. Thankfully, I have some interest already which is great considering I won't be available for work until mid to late June.

I have a question for you....what is a great vacuum cleaner for pet hair, and a good steam cleaner for my rugs??? I need to buy new ones....SOON. It's like we breed Llamas in my house, so much damn fur. lol.


  1. Hey girl, glad things are coming together for you and family. I never really had an significant problems with my 3 girls. Hopefully someone can help you with the brands you need to know about. I don't. Have a good week.

  2. We have the same battle here too with my stepson. Everyday the snow melts a little more, and everyday the yard gets more ugly. He whines and bitches, but he usually gets it done. I am not looking forward to the day when he goes home and I gotta do it:(

  3. Dyson is the best vacuum for anything... We love our Dyson!

  4. Congrats on the house!!!

    And my dad does DP at our house. :) I wonder if that means I'll have to do it when I'm married and don't live with my dad anymore. ...

    Also, I second southern-newlywed -- Dyson rocks!

  5. We have a Dyson. Andy is not impressed. I keep trying to explain to him that the amount of dog hair we are combating wouldn't stand up to ANY vacuum 100%, but he will not agree to upgrade to the Animal version based on this ones performance. I ordered a Hoover for vacuum and steamcleaner. I will just resign myself to buying a new vacuum every 2-3 years.

  6. Oh the horrors of the poo carnage! Good for you sticking to your guns and getting the kids to make a dent in it. :-)

  7. I saw this when working on another project and thought of you!

    The kids just tackled ours this past weekend and were not happy. Regardless, it is done!

    Good Luck!

  8. First off -- I am so happy to hear that we are not the only ones with the gross DP issue. It's kind of like waking up after having a wild and carefree drunken night out -- it was all fun and games and then you sober up in the light of morning with your makeup smeared, your clothing missing and wondering -- who the hell is this guy and how did I let myself get that drunk? (Yes, that is my comparison to the beauty of a winter's worth of snow... and then the ugliness that gets revealed when it melts; no one said I was an artist.). We have DP outside our back patio -- which you can see through our glass french doors, so there ain't no hiding it, and it is fucking mortifying. Guests come over and we kind of just shovel it to the side, closer to the shrubs, so it's not so visible. But finally my husband picked up a lot of it. We just recently started out giving our kids chores, but I think I should put them on DP duty too. Great idea. Or a great threat in case they act up. As for the vacuum -- here's the biggest downside, no matter which brand you buy and how much you shell out for it: You have to fucking it push it around the house your damn self! It sucks. We have a decent hoover one that's marketed for picking up animal hair. It works well enough.... when I actually bother to use it. But it sucks going up and down the stairs. Congrats on the house and moving to Cali. We left there a little over a year ago. I used to hate it, but now I get a little misty-eyed when I catch glimpses of it on TV or in movies. Good luck with the move. I'll follow you anywhere, girl. I'd rather read your account of dealing with dog poop than most things written by most other people.

  9. One more thing -- congrats on the weight loss! 12 pounds is impressive, chick! But as a skinny person who runs marathons, allow me to say this -- don't lose it all or you will look O-L-D, man. It sucks. The skinnier I've gotten as I've become more of a runner, the more my face looks gaunt and shitty. And I see it on all my friends who lose weight, once they get past 35. My friends who look the youngest have a little extra cushion, and they wear it well. Just a little somethin' to keep in mind. (we can't fuckin win, can we.)

  10. I have to say, having someone else pack all of our crap is worth the out-of-pocket expenses for each move we make.

    Congrats on finding a house - we always try to do that ahead of time, too, thanks to our massive poop-producing dogs. They aren't really welcome in hotels...

  11. ah yes, the spring revelation of dog poop..... and people wonder why I love snow and winter.

  12. Contests on getting the house, I'm sure it's a big relief to have that settled.

    I have 3 huskies AND a chow/shepherd mix. The only thing that's ever worked is the Dyson Animal. We've had that vacuum 7 years & it cones thru every time AND has lasted 7 years w/out breaking. I love it! I would pawn my husbands gun to buy a new one if it would ever give out, I swear. Who we kidding, I'd sell my husband, too! J/k

    The Dyson Animal is expensive but SO worth if you have heavy shedding pets. No bags to be purchasing, doesn't break from fur overload.

  13. Contests = congrats. Stupid text predictor