In any case, I did pretty well to get through yesterday and this weekend. I had a pretty good weekend, getting a few things accomplished around the house. We are officially in the Pre-PCS(Primary Change of Station, for you non-military peeps) stage, with only 4 months to go until we leave this God-forsaken place.
Since we go on vacation soon, and Andy leaves from there for recruiting school, any last minute chores I need him to accomplish have to be done in the next two weeks. There is quite a laundry list for the poor guy. I am such a control freak, I would do most of it myself, except for the fact I'm kind of lazy when it comes to stuff I know he can't screw up. I'm not saying Andy screws things up all the time...when it's things that are high on his list of priorities, it's done immaculately.
Let me give you an example: He started refinishing my dining room set two months ago. I have a table done, 3 chairs are stained but not varnished and 3 chairs are yet to be touched. He has this weekend to get it done because next weekend, he will be packing. So on Sunday, you would think he would prioritize and get cracking on the chairs...but instead, he decides to go through the kids toys in their rooms and weed them out.
What??!?!?!?!? I have no idea. These things just pop into his head and feels compelled to get them done IMMEDIATELY, or it gives him anxiety and he can't sit down.
So here I am, cracking the whip, nagging him to finish the chairs because this is not something I am going to be doing while he is gone. I have to plan a move. I do EVERYTHING for the move. All he has to do is be my muscle, so this is the time I need him to focus on my list of things to finish up.
I started to get a little anxious on Sunday and I guess it worked it's way in to my subconscious because I didn't sleep hardly at all. I usually ruin my Sundays worrying about going back to work the next day...but I went in the bathroom and turned the shower on and just sat there. The sound of running water calms me and usually makes me tired, but it still didn't work. I tried to think of things that make me happy (no, not grilled cheese. Okay, grilled cheese makes me VERY happy...but I wasn't thinking about food THIS time) but nothing would make me tired.
But last night, I did really well, even in spite of the news we had lost a friend. I don't really want to talk anymore about the incident than what I said yesterday, out of respect for the familys privacy. I was able to really focus on relaxing by listening to music and blocking out all the negative thoughts that wanted to invade my mind. I have to push them out. It's a battle, but I am trying to find new ways to do this. What do you do to relax or meditate? I can't clear my head of all thoughts, but I CAN replace the bad thoughts with good ones.
I'm sorry you've had a rough past few days! I hope Andy gets everything done quickly. :)
ReplyDeletelol I do what your husband does. Know I have something to do but something else gets in my head and I cannot possibly do anything else until it's done. You should see me clean. Drives my mom and husband nuts. ON that note, if I want something done in my time I need to do it myself.
ReplyDeleteTo relax, which doesn't really happen these days with a newborn. I do anything that numbs my mind. Watch tv. Boring tv will put me to sleep. Read. Reading these days puts me to sleep. ok, any position that has me lying down or not moving for a long space of time puts me to sleep. Oh I loved my baths with a good book. I used to also crank my stereo and sing really loud to help get out pain, aggression, etc.
hugs.
Stopping by to let you know I am now following your blog. I am also a military wife and I have a stepson with Asperger's. I read you link about your son and it felt so good to hear that someone else feels the same way we do! It looks to me like you're doing a great job. Stop by my blog sometime
ReplyDeletehttp://themizenfamily.blogspot.com/
Men and women do think about chores differently, no? I'm rooting for you with your challenge to become more positive. I read that whether we are positive or negative people is based on 60 percent genes, and 40 percent is within our control. It's not that we can't be positive - we just need to work harder at it. And I'm constantly working at it! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhen does your husband leave for recruitng school? Mine leaves in a few months!
ReplyDeleteI agree with boring TV, it usually does it for me.
ReplyDeleteMine leaves end of June, were hoping to stay at Lewis because we built a house here a few years ago, and like the area! What about you guys?!
ReplyDeleteMy husband does the exact same thing! I will BEG his to clean the kitchen, and instead he will deep clean the living room. Drives me insane.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm stressed I usually take a bath and read something fluffy (as stupid as it is, I read the Twilight novels a lot- they're so out there it's nice to escape into someone else's crazy world). Or if I'm really desperate I exercise haha.