Back in the day, I used to be a pretty light soul with a dark, sarcastic element. I think somewhere along the way, I switched over to a dark, sarcastic soul with a casual lightness. That's why you really nice people who exercise and don't make fun of people, like me...opposites attract. I used to be one of you. Maybe it's just the skepticism that comes with age, knowledge and experience...but I miss that old me a little. There was still faith that tomorrow would bring a better day, and that optimism helped to keep out the anxiety and stress.
I can't say things in my life have gotten worse over the years...I live a pretty steady existence. We have a good income, enjoy the fruits of our labor and have a very stable homelife full of love. But it hasn't always been easy. Most of our issues over the years, stemmed from financial issues...mostly with me finding a good job that I liked every time we moved. It really gets to be frustrating to renegotiate from a $50k+ salary to begging for $30k a year. But the stress I have now is mostly things I can't control, and apparently I am a control freak.
So last night...I am laying in bed (where I do my best thinking) and I had a particularly draining issue arise with a former friend. I have chosen to cut this person out of my life, along with another one because they were bringing lots of negative energy my way. It had me all riled up and I was starting to feel very anxious. Then a commercial for the HGTV Dream Home came on, and I started thinking about how nice it would be to win. As I laid there, daydreaming about what I would do with the dough...I realized that the anxiety was lifting off my chest. I felt the weight come right off. Just thinking about something positive made me feel so much better, and so relaxed that I drifted off to sleep.
This got me thinking...maybe there IS something to this "power of positive thinking" and "laws of attraction". Okay, maybe that was taking it a little too far...I am still waaaayyy too dark to believe that you can get something just by willing it to happen. If that was the case, I would have married Donnie Wahlberg at age 10 (he was 17. I loved me some NKOTB.) But in any case, if thinking positively and having that element of hope could make me feel better...then at least it would alleviate some of my anxieties and relax.
Don't worry..I'm not getting all "zen" on you. It's not like I'm about to get up and start doing Yoga. (There is little risk of me getting up to do anything other than get more coffee!)
But I am going to start my "3 Weeks of Positivity" experiment. Every time I start to have a negative thought...I will revert myself to thinking about something good. I know..it's a little bit too "rainbows and puppy dogs"...but those positive thoughts might just be the margaritas I am going to enjoy in St Lucia! (There is ALWAYS a way to spin it!)
If you are so inclined...do it with me. I will report back on Fridays to see what the results are.
Have a great weekend!
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