I’ve decided (#3)…

…that balance-ball technology only applies to women who don’t have cottage-cheese thighs to begin with. Those bitches in the commercials were already blessed with good genes, so excuse me for doubting a pair of sneakers are going to trim me down while I eat a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

…that I’d like to know when my wrists and cleavage started looking old?! I swear last time I looked down things were still in good working order.

…that no matter how many times I’ve gone to bed alone because my husband is gone playing soldier, it sucks more and more.

…that the true definition of Determination, is waiting in line at the Burger King drive-thru for 45 minutes so that you don’t have to get out of your car and walk inside.

…that military haircuts are unflattering, at best, for most soldiers due to misshapen head issues. I would like to vote in favor of the “Kingpin” aka the Bowl Cut ….

…that in light of the recent earthquakes in the world and terrifying damage that has happen because of them….I think I will take my chances with moving to California because it means I won’t be obligated to go see my family and/or in-laws every month or endure guilt-trips. YOU ALL OWN CARS TOO, PEOPLE!!!

…that not understanding the lyrics to some songs is NO excuse for not attempting to sing along with them. This is how “La Isla Bonita” became “Lucky Star Oneta.”

…that I still kind of like Charlie Sheen, even though, by all accounts, he is a giant pompous ass. He’s funny as shit and kind of rascally.