I had this thought two nights ago, as I was trying to drift off to sleep:
What if my husband got a tattoo of a “Scarlett Letter A”, to always visually remind him of the mistakes he has made, and to also remind him that every negative action has consequences and how he has the power to stop them? I have thought of the term “adultery” several times going through this mess, and to think of that word made me think of that book, and how people were forced to wear the letter pinned to their chests, so that everyone would know their sin.
I mentioned it to him yesterday, and he didn’t understand the reference. He grew up in Canada, and therefore didn’t read “The Scarlett Letter” in high school. I explained the story to him and the significance of the “A” on Hester Prynne’s chest.
Do you know what he said?
He wants to do it.
He wanted it over his heart. But I talked him in to the wrist, so that he can see it at all times.
He has no idea what a flagrant display of his own shame like this does for me, and being sure of his intent. That he is willing to do it because he wants to, not because I thought of it…since I didn’t push at all, only brought up the notion.
He is not an intellectually minded person. He is an average Joe. A man who doesn’t read or look for symbolism. Doesn’t believe in superstition. If he IS romantic, it takes careful planning and yet still ends up being flowers or candles. Never anything not already done and over-played. Never anything that ever lived up to the unfulfilled notion of romance and creativity in my head.
Yet, he is willing to wear his mistake on the outside, for everyone to see. Wear his heart on his sleeve in an artful, yet completely honest display of humility.
That is a man worthy of my forgiveness and my love.
I don’t think anyone has ever done ANYTHING that I have ever found more romantic.
We go on Saturday.