"Heyyyy youuuuu guysss!"

So yesterday I woke up with what I thought to be a large zit coming in, right by the crease of my eye and nose. It was noticeable only to me. As someone who only gets random pimples, I thought it was an odd place for one to appear and kept poking at it, so that it would rise up through the skin and I could defeat it like an enemy.

Well, evidently, I got played.

This morning, I woke up to get the kids on the bus. My "friend" was now twice as big and red as evilness. Still convinced it was a zit, I poked and squeezed at it some more, and drifted back off to sleep.

An hour later, Andy came home and woke me up, saying, "What happened to your eye??!!"

That is not the first thing you want to hear when you wake up.

I got up and looked in the mirror, and I looked like a had a stroke on one side of my face. My eye was all droopy, and was starting to puff up and swell shut. I quickly took a benedryl, took a shower and got ready to go to the urgent care center, thinking I got bitten by a Brown Recluse, and was sure the flesh-eating was soon to follow.

Obviously, this was no zit.

So first I went in to work, to show my boss that there is actually something wrong with me, and I don't just have an objection to working a solid two weeks without some major catastrophe...lol. Then I went to the local urgent care center and was forced to sit in a waiting room filled with urchin children...the little kids/toddlers that are covered in a crust of snot, put everything in their mouths, and the mother that think they are so adorable that everyone in the world must be exposed to their little "gift from God" to make their day a little brighter. This, along with being a school chaparone to Sesame Place and petting zoos, is like the 7th level of hell to me.

Yet, I survived, because I am tough. lol.

Anytime your face is mishapen, you look like hell, or have some other embarrassing affliction, you never want a hot doctor. Well, again, I got screwed. In walks "Dr. Caleb", with his gleaming grin and muscular build, and I thought for sure I would die.

Turns out, my "bug bite" was not a bug bite. It is a bacterial infection, and it will take ten days of antibiotics, taken 4 times a DAY, and plowing myself with coma-inducing Benedryl. If it doesn't get better in two days, I have to go back and let Dr. Caleb give me a steriod shot in my ass.

Because this isn't humiliating enough.

I asked him if he was sure some bug didn't drop its eggs in my face to hatch, (half-jokingly), and to my horror, he laughed and then said he was NOT sure, although he had never seen that before, and if its not better then come back so they can rule that out.

"?" What??????!!!!!!!!!

Then Dr. Caleb informed me, "It's not THAT bad. You're still pretty." To which I replied, "Yeah, if you've got an affinity for Sloth from "The Goonies."

Thank goodness, I have a sense of humor. Some days, it is the only thing keeping me from flushing myself down the toilet.

(Resigned sigh and Giggle)