What the hell just happened?

I am too tired right now to begin to put together the events of my weekend, but, "for the art", I will give it my best efforts.

Friday was like torture, waiting for everyone to arrive. I was a wreck...Andy was a wreck. It was a mess. I made all this food, and then there was no one there to eat it. I found out that my in-laws were in town already, but they went out to dinner, even thought they knew I had made food because I told everyone I was.

Of course, everyone arrives within the same time frame, so chaos ensued. It was a fun weekend, but very emotional too. But when I laid down last night, and Andy asked me how I was, I said "Good". I haven't felt good for a long time, so it was a relief.

The sad thing is that it takes a trauma to be able to get together with my friends. It's harder to justify when life is good, as if you "need" them less. I laughed pretty hard this weekend, I cried, and I ate a ton of food.

But it was like a blur...fast and then it's gone. But it was lovely while it lasted. Sharing secrets, talking about life. We all have sons too, so it was pretty funny. My boys were so good, playing with the little kids. This worked out perfectly...mine were old enough to babysit all their kids, so the moms could relax a little. Everyone pitched in and helped out with everything. It was a family. We ARE a family. And it's something that we all are not used to, because we live far away from each other and our parents...so we were all used to "doing it on our own" and it was nice to just not have to worry about everything because one of us would get it if there was a problem.

I wish life was like that. It makes me crave family and friends being around all the time. Few things in life are as reliable as the comfort I felt this weekend, even in its awkward moments...and there were definitely some.

I am so glad to go out to California next month. I feel better about it already...stronger. And I felt so good this weekend, I know I will be okay and have fun then.

Today, though, I am exhausted and feel slightly ill. And tonight, I need to just rest, because tomorrow, I start getting packed for this weekends camping trip.