Thursday, June 30, 2011

“Wigger” and other horrible things people came up with in the 90s

In 1990, I was at the ripe old age of 11. The same age my youngest son is now. Most of the stuff that I remember about my childhood happened after this time period.

Like all generations, you have things that you remember about your significant developmental years that you just had no idea what you were doing at the time. How do I understand that you have no good reason for doing something that you really didn’t want to do?

MC Hammer Pants.

Pegging your jeans.

Big Bangs.



Men in cut-off jerseys, baring their midriffs.

Calling people “Wiggers”

Boy George.

Yeah. I went there.

How did we allow these atrocities to occur at the hands of our generation?

It’s a question I will ask myself in horror every time I watch the “Fly Girls” on “In Living Color.” Why, would we think it was acceptable for a man to wear a sleeveless shirt of any kind? You should NEVER see armpit hair unless you are at the beach or at home.

They are simply, crimes against humanity.

And like combating hunger, AIDS and genocide…we have to band together to never repeat the same mistakes twice.

We need change. (This is why I voted for Obama)

We need…

The New Kids on The Block. NKOTB. And Marky Mark…because he was an original member of the band.

“Donnie D’s on the backup. Drug-free, so put the crack up.”

I wonder how creepy it is for them to perform to audiences on their tour with the Backstreet Boys, and have 30-40 year old woman throwing their bras and panties at them? It’s got to be a life filled with lots of beer goggles and broken dreams. I wonder how many of their illegitimate children are introduced to them at their concerts?

“It was a starry night in Omaha, after the concert. He smelled like Drakkar Noir and Wild Turkey 101, and I was dressed like Donna from 90210. He kept wanting to call me Karen, even though my name is Jenny. It was magical.”

Every generation has their kryptonite. Those things that suddenly define you as a generation that you really wish didn’t. Like leisure suits and mutton chop sideburns. I mean, people HAD to be on heavy drugs to think that was attractive. For my children, it’s letting Miley Cyrus become famous and wanting hair like Justin Bieber.

In my day, we called that haircut Amish. It’s a bowl cut, folks.

I guess we just have to sit back and hope the next generation comes up with stuff that is more embarrassing than what we did.


  1. A couple of years ago my oldest son, now 18, told me in all seriousness, "Day glo is back, mom, only this time it's totally cool." I informed him that no matter how many cycles day glo makes, the wearer will always regret it 20 years later. I owned three, yes 3, pairs of MC hammer pants. The horror....

  2. Thoughts:
    1) Only you would throw your bra and panties at Joey McIntyre and/ or Jordan Knight.
    2) I had to wikipedia Martika.
    3) I was shocked that you didn't add how you did not follow the pegging jeans trend and got ridiculed for wearing bell bottoms.
    4) I wish guys did wear belly shirts. Make them have to watch their figures more.
    5) In the reunion post, you said you were smart, funny, bubbly, etc. ... and I was waiting for the adjective "whore", but you did me one better by devoting a whole paragraph to it.

  3. was a starry night in Omaha...sooo funny!

  4. OMG you never cease to make me giggle, thank you Ms. ever witty and honest glamour pants! xo